i didnt wanna f-cking do this song, for real
but i wouldnt be real if i didnt
i be sittin by myself and thinkin, mamma what have i become
all i wanted was a family, but when i look i be the only one
losing everything but money, everybody left and i dont even get to see my young
only happiness i get is in the studio or when i get to do another run
on the road, doin shows, get the woes, when it slows
gettin cold, getting old, but the flows, gettin sold
i’ve been doin this a minute but i think i wanna end it cause i’m on a higher level when i go
but the music i be doin it, be losin, make it hard for me to grow
all i wanted is a family portrait, see my babys on a ranch with horses
but i was f-cking devil b-tches in corsets. i was livin really good but i torched it
i’m sorry ms jackson, i’m speakin for real and i never meant to make your daughter cry
but i guess i’m a failure with women and i’m lost and i feel like i ought to die
feel like i’m rotting away, my life is just off in the grey
how much does it cost i will pay, to lay, and be off in a coffin today
i mean off in ashes, this life ain’t after a cl-sses, if i get blasted
this is suicide letters all over again, i thought that i p-ssed it
but i guess that i didnt, cause this one is written and there is no mending
when i’m broke i’m a joke, when i croke i just hope i wont be descending
but this ain’t a joke, i want you to know that tech ninna is never pretending
alone in my bed, a gun to my head, asking where is my happy ending? ya
tell me how it ends?
what about me? where is my happy ending?
what about me? is this a life worth living?
you know how it begins, but how does it end for me?
will i ever win, or does he have it in for me?
will this stop before i stop breathing?
is their lighty, in this dark i’m seein?
chea, i put my life in this music, nina is inside out
i set my heart out for people, they know what the inside bout
will they keep feelin ninna forever, this i doubt
can never cry for help, if you listenin this my shout
i’m searching for the p-ssage way to happiness
but i’m wordly so i have to lay in nastiness
yes, this is strange year, worldwide fames near, but the games queer
sometime i feel like i’m rudolph, the reindeer
but instead of a red nose, i stay in my red clothes
and the music they said blows, is on top and the cred grows
can you ressurect a mother f-cker that feel like he pose as a dead soul
deteriorate to an inferior state almost equal to bread mold
now as my head goes, wish i could shed those
because all the time the ninna was shorted, what i bled froze
so now that i’m cold blooded, and h-lla sick is what the med shows
the tread slows, and dont even think you reviving a dead rose. chea
i’m on the verge of insanity, but i’m competant
i’m breakin so i pick this one to vent
the reason i look away when you talk to me my brain is producin evilness
i’m drownin in 151 and rumble ments. thats how i feel
i sit in the mirror with this gun and practice how to kill
but i know d-mn well that the people like me really wanna know how to chill
this life is about a check, about a number about a bill
think about all the love i lost cause my quest is about a mill
i feel like your stupid, dont talk to me i’m crackin up
and i dont mean laughter i’m full of bitterness and its backing up
and i live with angles, but lately demons been shakin up
tug of war with my spirit, you see the blood i’m hacking up?
i love my kids and my fans inside i sob harder
cause you pay the price for my life and its right like bob barker
and i wont pretend its ok i’m no facade starter
so i guess my only happy ending is in a m-ssage parlor