his name is max and he’s going to school
he doesn’t wear a helmet ’cause he’s so cool
he keeps his helmet on his bars
darts out randomly in front of cars
talks on his phone while rollin’ down the street
he even has a girlfriend, isn’t that sweet!?
he hits on chicks even if they’re sk-nky
he smells his pits and they’re h-lla stinky!
ok, i just need to clarify one mother f-cking thing, max is a bad -ss mother f-cker, if you don’t f-cking believe me, then look at his mother f-cking helmet on his mother f-cking handlebars, holy sh-t that guy is hardcore! oh yeah, and he swears a sh-tload, and everyone knows that’s f-cking awesome!
what’s this? is this is a hardcore part? yeah!! just like max!
his name is max!
he doesn’t wear a helmet!
he keeps it on his handlebar!
he’s failing all his cl-sses!
and he’s only… 10!?
what? i thought he was like 26. so you’re telling me that i wrote this bad-ss song about a ten year old!?
you know what? i don’t care if he’s 10, or 50, or even a friggin’ baby, he’s still more hardcore than i’ll ever be, and i’m 32!
wait, max! watch out for your helmet!
max didn’t wear his helmet
now he has suffered a concussion
and he will be in a coma for the next three weeks
but it was worth it because
helmets make you look really geeky.
why do i sound like a bad a rip-off
of the red hot chili peppers?