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butt-eating zombies ii / billy hole z - jake hole lyrics

[skit]
now he’s thinkin’ ’bout me every night, oh
is it that sweet? i guess—
what is he doing?
ma— man, dang near got— made me crash
hold on, man
hey, you good, brother?
you’re just standing out in the middle of the road, man
should i get the sheriff out here for ya?
sir?
oh dang, he’s got halitosis

[intro]
j*j*j*j*jake hole
the following is based on real events
it follows the half*brother of jake hole
billy hole
on halloween night
you’ll see the dead rise
and they will eat your b*tt
yeah, they’ll break your spine
but you don’t actually want them to
even if it seems kind of enticing
because, like, i mean, they’re eating your b*tt
that’s kind of cool
[verse 1]
alabama night, cold and dry
on the backroads
billy hole, jake’s half*brother
kept a gat close
stranger in the distance
shifting, twitching, wouldn’t listen
since the honk from billy’s pickup
didn’t seem to make a difference
billy swerved, pressed his hazards
pulled aside and wondered why
there seems to be a tweaker
strung out in the dead of night
billy couldn’t see no good at all
so he turned on his brights
and he stepped out of his pickup
to see if this dude alright
just in case, he grabbed his gun
a simple .308 winchester
slung it ’round his back
and turned his hat right around
front and center
and he dusted off his flannel
kicks are steel*toe timberlands
billy really hopin’ that he wouldn’t have to k!ll again
[bridge 1]
sir
should i call the sheriff?
is there some kind of drug ’round there
that i wasn’t aware of?

[verse 2]
he approached the man
and the man appeared to grumble
he turned to look at billy
darted forward, then he tumbled
hand outstretched, dead flesh
booty stank all on its breath
billy realized pretty quickly
that there ain’t much human left
so he pulled the rifle off his back
and took a couple steps
then he lined the shot and steadied
calm demeanor’s what he kept
sent a shot to its temple
then it squirmed, shook and writhed
pool of blood all on the pavement
white film all on its eyes
billy hopped back in his truck
put his gun right by his side
wiped the sweat off from his brow
then he continued his drive
he pulled into his driveway
quickly exited and ran
up to the front door of his little house
to check up on his man
and then he sighed out of relief
because he saw his husband tanner
sleeping on his ol’ recliner
which is his usual manner
jangling keys, door unlocked
he went inside
barricaded the door
locked the windows
and shut the blinds
then he turned on the news
just in case he losing his mind
but then he saw the truth
as he listened to channel 5
[bridge 2]
national emergency
please stay inside your homes
if you see a strung*out junkie
definitely don’t approach
an infection has been spreading
think of zombies from a movie
except these ones super freaky
’cause they feed by eating booty
oh, no! they broke into the newsroom!
no! my juicy b*tt!
my big peach

[verse 3]
and then billy heard a slam
against glass in the kitchen
tanner, wake up
there’s a breakout of a sickness
billy grabbed his bat
it’s a louisville slugger
in order to defend against
undead b*tt chuggers
bloodied palms, sliding down
leaving dark red streaks
big billy started clenching
both his sunburnt cheeks
and tanner still confused
he was tryna catch z’s
billy was practicing on his baseball swings
he headed towards the back
opened up the door screen
the b*tt eating freak
unleashed a creepy, ear bleeding scream
he dove between his legs
and tried to l!ck inside his rear
billy kicked it in the w*lly
and then he bashed out of fear
he went, “bash, bash, bash, bash”
brains all on his bat
this was really happening
the end was really here

- jake hole lyrics

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