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the instagram song - james veitch lyrics

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on your facebook
i see pictures of canary islands ’07
so i double-tap
to zoom in
that’s a sensible progression

it’s what i expect
it’s what i expect

on your twitter
i see a picture of a beautiful sh0r-line
so i double-tap
to zoom in
that’s standard interface design

it’s what i expect
it’s what i expect

on your instagram
[long pause and sigh to indicate what i am about to say does not make me happy]
i see a picture of you and i quite like it
so i double tap
to zoom in
oh f-cking h-ll i’ve liked it

if i delete my account will that get me out of this situation?
if i unlike it immediately will she still get the notification?
and if she does how will she think of me after that?
i suppose it depends on whether instagram tells her the exact picture i was looking at

oh instagram
i’m afraid that it’s fundamentally reckless
to meddle
with a series
of universally recognised gestures

and instagram
i think that it cannot be disputed
double-tap
to zoom
has been the standard since steve jobs introduced it

i could pretend like it was deliberate
like i was making an ironic comment on
the nature of human duality and the way we…
i mean that’s just sh-t

i could sporadically like other pictures
the effect of which would ideally
obscure me singling out the one
of you in your bikini

so when you get a moment
please consider a retraction
it’s not too late for you to change
the default interaction

and also if you get a moment
(and i don’t mean to sound bossy)
but if possible, when you get a sec
could you ask her to unblock me?

i’ve sent like four or five support emails about this
so…
…just when you get a chance

- james veitch lyrics

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