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the ball of kerrymuir - jim croce lyrics

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four-and-twenty virgins come down from inverness,
and when the ball was over, there were four-and-twenty less,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

there was doin’ in the parlor, there was doin’ on the stones,
but ya couldn’t a hear the music for the wheezin’ and the groans,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

the undertaker, he was there, all wrapped up in a shroud,
swingin’ from the chandelier, and peein’ on the crowd,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

the village cripple, he was there, ah he could not do much,
so he lined the ladies against the wall, and he did ’em with his crutch,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

miss mary mcpherson was standin’ way up front,
some posies in her hand, and a carrot in her c-nt,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

the village postman, he was there, but the poor man had the pox,
he could not do the l-ssies, so he did the letter box,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

the village magician, he was there, he gave us all a laugh,
he pulled his foreskin over his head, and he vanished up his -ss,

singin’ b-lls to your partner, your -ss against the wall,
if ya never been had on a sat-rday night, ya never been had at all.

- jim croce lyrics

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