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the ferret song - john cleese lyrics

i’ve got a ferret sticking up my nose
(he’s got a ferret sticking up his nose)
how it got there, i can’t tell
but now it’s there, it hurts like h*ll
and what is more it radically affects my sense of smell
(his sense of smell)

i can see a bare*bottomed mandrill
(slyly eyeing his other nostril)
if he jumps inside there too
i really won’t know what to do
i’ll be the proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo
(a nasal zoo)

i’ve got a ferret sticking up my nose
it starts singing when he wеars his formal clothes
i can almost stand the noise
but at partiеs it destroys
my hard*earned and carefully cultivated social poise

i’ve got a ferret sticking up my nose
(and what is worse, constantly explodes)
“ferrets don’t explode,” you say
but it happened nine times yesterday
and i should know ’cause each time i was standing in the way
i’ve got a ferret sticking up my nose
i’ve got a ferret sticking up his nose
how it got there i can’t tell
but now it’s there, it hurts like h*ll
and what is more it radically affects my sense of smell

- john cleese lyrics

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