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even - julien baker lyrics

[verse 1]
when is it too many times
to tell you that i think of you every night
i don’t want to make it hard on you
so i could be cruel
yeah i could make you hate me
would that make it easy
did you think i forgot
the fireworks, the black eye
trading blows on the fourth of july
but you were right, i was asking for it
i always am
it’s no good if the pain doesn’t make you feel like you earned it
and i probably deserved it

[chorus]
’cause all you ever say is
“what’s the point; is anybody there to help me now”
it’s not that i think i’m good
i know that i’m evil
i guess i was trying to even it out

[verse 2]
isn’t that what you want
for me to be miserable like you
well brother, you’re about to get your wish
putting my fist through the plaster in the bathroom of a motel 6
i must have pictured it all a thousand times
i swear to god i think i’m gonna die
i know you were right
i can’t be fixed, so help me

[chorus]
’cause all you ever say is
“what’s the point; is anybody there to help me now”
it’s not that i think i’m good
i know that i’m evil
i guess i was trying to even it out

- julien baker lyrics

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