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funeral pyre - julien baker lyrics

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i wake up with the same pain every night,
digging in ashes and out of sight.
clearing my chest for something to burn,

ash from a decorative urn you keep in your mantle piece
like a trophy for everything.

we learn eventually.

call me a coward but i’m too scared to leave
’cause i want you to be the last thing i see
call me a coward but i’m too scared to leave
watched you pouring lighter fluid out onto the leaves
and i would have loved you with the dying fire

if i let you smother me now, to the embers
frost bite turning my limbs as black as cinders, a funeral pyre
but i would have stayed, if you had asked me to
stood outside until my lips turned blue
i wouldn’t have blamed you
for leaving me there on the porch
while you drink gasoline
because its what you needed so bad

but its true.

there’s nothing that we could do.

- julien baker lyrics

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