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waiting to change - kaden mackay lyrics

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i’m the same that i was when i was seventeen
i assumed i would grow but i’m still green
still a sprout running out of time to change into more
i can’t claim that i wasn’t in charge of my growth

was it pride or just weakness? or both?
was it fair nothing’s fair i don’t care*
just ignore

if i wanted to be better
you’d think by now i would be
but i am endlessly excusing what my poor decisions make me
though it’s not the path i’m choosing
i’m allowing it to take me
and it feels like a crime to act like who i’m already, who i should i be

though i keep it confidential i’m essentially synthetic
’cause despite all my potential
it might never be kinetic
when is it too late? where’s the deadline? the red line, to cross?

the golden opportunity’s, gone
but is there dross left behind i can find and use to rise off the floor
what is fate? but the end of the road that we’re on?
can i choose to be king? and not p*wn?
still as weak, still can’t move
but an improvement from before

if i wanted to be better. you would think, by now
i would be
and even when i follow every guideline to the letter
i’m afraid it’s always hollow
and i’m never getting better

and it feels a crime to act like i’m already who i should be
but if i’m less ashamed of my disguise than what’s inside it?
can my inner self be blamed for all the times it’s tried to hide it?

(ooh)
(ooh)

- kaden mackay lyrics

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