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you'll only end up joining them - kevin devine lyrics

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tonight i’m posed and popping like a peac-ck
i’m pressing flesh, i’m smiling big, my spinning head sings “stop, just stop”
cause what used to calm me down
just rips my life to ribbons now
so i keep smiling, i find my window and quick cut out

these days my hangman’s hunger makes my gut kick
my sleeping mind, could map it blind
a flask, a key, a bag, a fifth
i try to will myself away
while shouting habits plead their case
so when the sun sears through my eyes
my beggar’s brain can’t compromise
i splash cold water, i draw the curtains, i stay inside

and i can’t say that it’s a sickness, more like a stranger i ask in
and later realize, was a strangler
slipping nooses in my den
but i was lonely so i asked him, “would you tie that one on me?”
it wasn’t his fault, i was eager, and i was weak

so as i inch towards resolution
yea i’m not sure which life feels right
a narrow noose or the wading water
the hanging head, sore open eyes
i know my brother he went one way
and at the fork i heard him say
“don’t you follow, don’t go making my mistakes”
and i realized what he meant
don’t kill yourself to raise the dead
it never works you’ll only end up joining them

- kevin devine lyrics

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