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still life with candle - kolya lyrics

“are you going to bed yet?”
“i haven’t decided… i might have to go to the bathroom and i have planned on eating something… and i might, no probably not.”
“what?”
“read, i’ll probably not read.”

it was no wonder, he had been watching tv all day
the energy he was expending just to keep his eyes half open seemed to be more than he had left
certainly more than would allow him to stand up straight
now he had always had a slump in his posture but until now he managed to convince that it was a great weight, and a worthy struggle against said unnamed weight
now with greasy hair, and a flatter looking forehead…
he wore the slump of an old deflated man
the deflated man turned away from the other and shut his door
there was a candle burning on the desk, illuminating the soft white blank pages of an open notebook
in front of that notebook he sat

his posture seemed better suited for sitting
he imagined his head hanging from a chain attached to the ceiling and base of his neck
leaving his head three inches from the still blank pages
he would have appeared like a marionette if he turned to see his shadow dancing against the wall
his shadow, instead of dancing as most shadows do when thrown by candle light
just moved to and fro.. changing perspectives
like a sculptor wondering where his last chisel would fall
or if the last one were necessary at all

with the pen in his left hand, he had on there, despite the still blank pages, three inches from eyes left and eyes right
he began to carve a heart into the side of the candle
it was a small heart, it would have easily fit within the confines of a coin
but upon completion… he carved the heart away with the same hand that still held the pen

- kolya lyrics

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