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butterfly effect - kxllinme lyrics

verse 1
sometimes i look back like, “yeah, i’d fix the past,”
then i check myself — “bro, you wanna end up soft at last?”
touch one memory and i might fade on cue
wake up gentle, vanilla, melted charleston chew
i ate gravel and darkness just to sharpen my name
now you think i’d risk it all just to soften the flame?
b*tterfly one moment and the whole script flips —
my grit evaporates, my backbone dips
yeah, i’d change some nights, but i ain’t k!llin’ the beast
just to wake up preachin’ peace like trauma got a lease
i ain’t built for cozy — i was forged in dread
hammered by nightmares that lived rent*free in my head
every scar turned armor, every bruise turned sk!ll
every bad day taught me how to breathe uphill
i ain’t flawless — i’m venom with a moral or two
and if i rewrite the past?
i might lose the monster
that dragged me through

hook
i can’t go back, i ain’t rewinding pain —
change one thing and i ain’t me again
if the past don’t learn, let that b*tch stay dead —
i’m done with reruns
and the lies you said
verse 2
changin’ the past for someone who won’t change sh*t?
that’s loyalty turnin’ into a self*made slit
i wanted more for you than you ever did —
that’s the curse of caring for a closed*off kid
it’s wild how some folks get comfy in the chaos
like depression’s a couch with a “kick your feet and stay” sign
meanwhile, we grew up raw —
beds creakin’, walls thin, fear crawlin’ under the door
blame the past, blame people — none of that sticks
it’s excuses blowin’ by like cheap bic fl!cks
words in the wind, same loop, same sigh
same story told slow while real life slides by
i’d rather break the script than relive the same scene
rather change the ending than die in*between
groundhog’s day don’t heal — it just rots your head
and i’d torch the whole memory
before i ever live it again

hook
i can’t go back, i ain’t rewinding pain —
change one thing and i ain’t me again
if the past don’t learn, let that b*tch stay dead —
i’m done with reruns
and the lies you said
verse 3
i spent years tryna save sh*t that wasn’t my call
holdin’ broken ladders while they refused to climb at all
set myself on fire just to warm their doubt
then wondered why i was burned when the smoke cleared out
i learned growth ain’t loud, and love ain’t chains
you don’t heal by stayin’ stuck explainin’ pain
some people love comfort more than they love change
they’ll call survival “peace” just to stay the same
i had to choose myself — that was the cut
stopped bleeding for people who liked me stuck
the old me’s gone, i don’t owe him breath
i buried that version with respect, not regret

outro
i ain’t goin’ back —
not for you, not for pain, not for who i could’ve been
if life’s a loop, i’m breakin’ it clean
let the past stay buried
let every ghost stay fed
’cause the only thing worse than losin’ yourself…
is meetin’ the version of you
that never bled

- kxllinme lyrics

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