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days numbered - lauren oxford lyrics

she dyes her hair brown by herself; she has for thirty years
reprimands my paw*paw for not “turning up his ears”
it was christmas of ‘19 the last i saw her
the memory, now lost to time, is just a blur

i go out twice for groceries the two months i’m at home
but when i must go back to work, i call her on the phone
when my masks come in the mail i nearly cry:
the sandwiches she ate to save all those twist ties…

paw*paw’s ninety*one now; grandmother’s eighty*nine
i thought the choice would make itself, given all this time
if i got them sick, i’d never right that wrong
but they’re not getting any younger; how long, how long, how long?
one year is stretching into two — no giving, only taking
uncertainty claws up a heart that’s busy, busy breaking
i sit here wondering where is the boundary?
how far, what risks; god all i want’s to feel her arms around me

- lauren oxford lyrics

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