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end of 17 - legend adams lyrics

[intro]

(smash and burn)

(shout out earl)

[verse]
its probably been 5 years since my father left
made me fatherless
when friend’s asked me where he is, i said “my father’s dead”
when honestly i didn’t even know the n*ggas name
now i’m pushing 10 years old, i thought a n*gga changed
getting raised by my auntie, mommy and sister
‘neiyah taught me, knocked me down, but there’s something there like a tommy missile
something’s fission and missing, blank in the picturеs
running missions but never therе fishing near me to catch my figure
often bullied ’cause i’m a dude but too feminine
ass beat so much, i heard buzzes like you was relevant
bullied so much, have no clue what’s anyone’s sentiment
can’t even use the tools ’cause these hoes there in the residence
i’m just a kid, but i feel like life is h*ll
laying on a shelf, i’m just a kid living life without wealth
when auntie got me, sometimes i’m feeling high on the scale
but sh*t was constant nonsense, i thought of dropping myself

[bridge]
*heart monitor beep*
[verse]

it’s probably been 3 days since aunt ‘neiyah died
felt no pride inside
first time tears wouldn’t hide when the family cried
i got taught to be strong, but how ya hear your second mother dies, go carry on, while the family sighs?
woke up that morning waiting for a pick*up
i walk up to my mother’s room and assumed that my mind had a mix up
she said “i’m sorry,” and my body asked “what are you saying?”
then she said “kaneiyah didn’t make it”
fast forward, another night, my room is flooded with moths
i lost my favourite person, how am i gon’ deal with this loss?
i saw her everyday, stayed with her and played with her dog
now i see her through myself like a bait to a frog
it’s not the same though, and now i’m trapped in the same flow
therapy not working ’cause these girls won’t help the pain go
i’m starting somewhere with this n*gga name kevin
he’s better with loss than mama, great*aunties and heaven
but, its not a drill when you still can’t miss school
moving clips up to the green, but my mind goes red and blue
then stays red to the saddest sh*t in december
we open kaneiyah’s door, see the floor, she took the dog with her too

[bridge]
*barking and dialogue*
[verse]

end of the year, this is my first funeral
one thing is clear to me, i will see my aunt in the burial
goin up the podium reading 23rd psalm
but nothing is calm, i’m rushing lines forgetting the numerals
of the text that i’m reading
my mother cried, sighed, i was crumbling reading
aunt gwen cried, sighed, i never thought i would see it
i lost my eye sight seeing ‘neiyah, because i’m weeping, don’t understand the message
yet i gotta accept it, even if it’s not a win
i hope she can hear me now, hope new wins pay for sin
repression coming to murder me
feels like plastic surgery, no matter what sum, it’s under your skin
depression is comin in, but i’m used to it all
the sun goes down, and the night is waiting to fall
how is it going to end? will i fall…
sh*t..

*screaming and fading out*
*heart monitor in reverse*

[verse]

it’s 8 years later, i’m movin’ on to be an adult
survivor’s guilt, but a survivor’s vibing as a result
i survived the divided mental of a 10 year old soul
but the sky reminded me it’s not the end of the road
growing up is realising i’ll be losing my home
see people gone like this until the home is alone
i didn’t have the father figure to figure out how to take a loss
but now i’m the figure teaching n*ggas survivor’s code
hugging**… i’m loving that she stayin this strong
if not for her or evan, i wouldn’t be makin this song
if it wasn’t for pops, i wouldn’t be here for this long
even if jokes don’t hit the heart, i’m still riding along
for the long run to write along
before my passions ignite like i light the bong
even if issues make me question if i’m right or wrong
can i still achieve a reason to help these people’s needs and give these guys another season?
[outro]

(we accept the reality of the world with which we are presented)

- legend adams lyrics

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