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i understand (pitkin's song) - leonard bernstein lyrics

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when i was five, my brother stole my lollipop
my lollipop stole he
but i didn’t mutter, “d-mn your hide,”
he needed candy more than i’d
so instead of biting off his hand
i just said, “goo! i understand!”

when i was ten, my mother trounced me with a mop
with a mop trouncéd she me
but i didn’t mutter, “d-mn your eyes,”
i knew she needed exercise
so instead of joining a gypsy band
i just said, “mom, i understand.”

at thirty a man in a car ruthlessly ran me down
he ruthlessly down ran me
but i didn’t mutter, “d-mn your spleen,”
for a man’s a man, but a car’s a machine
so instead of stripping him of his land
i just said, “jack, i understand.”

now i’m forty-five and i’ve met claire, we’re engaged to wed
engaged to wed are we
but tonight i tell you, “d-mn you, claire,”
you played me evil and that’s not fair!
so instead of remaining calm and bland
i hereby do not understand!

- leonard bernstein lyrics

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