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failure with girls - macc lads lyrics

i’ve got an ugly face,
with spots all over the place,
i haven’t got any mates,
and me clothes have gone out of date.
i go to the pub on me own,
and i drink me orange alone,
i sit and stare at the crack,
but they just turn their backs.
i want to chat them up,
but i stare at me feet,
and then i go home and i beat me meat.
i’m dead shy about the size of me d-ck,
and chips and gravy make me sick.
i’m a failure with girls,
i don’t know why,
he’s a failure with girls,
he don’t know why.
i’m a failure with girls,
they’re so unkind,
he’s a failure with girls,
they’re so unkind.
i’m a failure with girls,
they make me cry,
he’s a failure with girls,
they make him cry.
only wish i could say that i don’t mind.
a macc lad of me took note,
and he poured a pint of bitter down me throat,
it were the first pint i ever had,
and i changed to a real macc lad.
me clothes started looking real flash,
i got a tattoo and a moustache,
and me car got a go-faster stripe,
and now i pull crack every night.
and i’m not weak anymore,
‘cos me d-ck measures three foot four,
so don’t you call me wimp,
‘cos it’s three foot four even when it’s limp.
i’m dead macho with girls,
i never fail,
he’s dead macho with girls,
he nevers fails.
i’m dead macho with girls
‘cos i sup ale,
he’s dead macho with girls
‘cos he sups ale.
i’m dead macho with girls
thanks to willies,
he’s dead macho with girls
thanks to willies.
only wish i didn’t have vd…

- macc lads lyrics

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