blacktar confidence - maeve noiré lyrics
grew up in a house full of lockjaw rules
talk soft, sit straight, don’t act like a fool
kept quiet ’cause loud meant danger near
learned early that love can sound like fear
dad said “strong means shutting your mouth,”
mom said “cry and i’m kicking you out.”
so i stitched my heart with a needle of pain
turned every bruise into part of my name
yeah, confidence built from panic attacks—
funny how trauma can hold you intact
dark and sticky, stuck in my mind
blacktar confidence keeping me lined
act so tough but it’s all disguise—
i talk big ’cause i’m small inside
dark and sticky, look in my eyes
strength ain’t strength when it’s dipped in lies
i stand tall but the truth don’t rise—
blacktar confidence holding me tight
walk like a storm, but i’m built from tears
a tornado made of childhood years
act fearless but fear is why i’m loud—
a scared little kid in a grown*up crowd
yeah, i brag too much ’cause it feels like armor
got a big voice ’cause the silence was harder
people think bold means being okay—
but most of my courage is just decay
confidence fueled by damage inside…
funny how poison can keep you alive
dark and sticky, stuck in my mind
blacktar confidence keeping me lined
act so tough but it’s all disguise—
i talk big ’cause i’m small inside
dark and sticky, look in my eyes
strength ain’t strength when it’s dipped in lies
i stand tall but the truth don’t rise—
blacktar confidence holding me tight
this ain’t power—
just residue
fake it louder—
that’s what hurt taught you
what if healing
is learning to say:
“i’m strong, yeah…
but not that way”?
dark and sticky, stuck in my mind
blacktar confidence keeping me lined
act so tough but it’s all disguise—
i talk big ’cause i’m small inside
dark and sticky, look in my eyes
trying to breathe through a thousand lies
blacktar confidence losing its bite—
maybe real strength
starts tonight
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