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stolen years - maeve noiré lyrics

i missed the playground days, the running wild, the screaming loud
’cause every jump, every fall, every splash was a warning i wasn’t allowed
kids flew through sprinklers while i stayed dry on the side
holding my processors like fragile glass
pretending i didn’t mind

while they lived like they had whole worlds to spare
i lived cautious, quiet, always aware—
one wrong move, one wrong fall
and silence would swallow it all
so i stayed safe, stayed small, stayed still—
a child in theory
but never for real

they played without thinking
i lived every moment with fear
i didn’t get childhood—
i got responsibility handed down like gear

i missed a whole d*mn childhood trying to keep up
trying to study, trying to hear, trying not to break stuff
while they slept in late, i was sounding out words
relearning conversations they caught on the first
i wasn’t climbing trees; i was climbing expectations
wasn’t loud in the sun; i was trapped in translations
i missed whole years i can’t ever get back—
lost to studying, surviving, and staying intact
every summer they ran through pools and rain
while i held onto my devices like a lifeline to my brain
i watched kids wrestle, tumble, dive
but i couldn’t risk a single thing
that might break the way i survived

they had mud, chaos, bruises, noise—
i had caution, silence, a box full of batteries instead of toys
while they learned life through laughter and bruises that fade
i learned discipline, fear, and how careful a child can be made

my childhood wasn’t lived—
it was managed
protected
restricted
planned
i didn’t get freedom—
i got rules written right into my hands

i missed a whole d*mn childhood trying to keep up
studying till midnight just to be “good enough.”
while they ran free, i practiced words in the mirror
trying to sound normal, trying to grow clearer
i didn’t get recklessness; i got survival
didn’t get mistakes; i got denial
those years slipped through my fingers like sand—
lost to fear of the silence i couldn’t withstand
i didn’t jump in pools
i didn’t roll in grass
i didn’t run carefree
everything i did had to last
a childhood lived like a minefield—
every joy a risk
every risk too big
they say kids bounce back
but i wasn’t allowed to fall

i lost years trying to stay connected
years no one remembers but me

i missed a whole d*mn childhood trying to keep up
trying to hear, trying to learn, trying not to mess up
they had scr*ped knees; i had early discipline
they had summers; i had quiet rooms i studied in
they had memories loud and bright—
i had caution, rules, and silent nights
if childhood is freedom
then mine was under attack—
stolen by fear, stolen by pressure…
and i can’t get it back

maybe one day i’ll forgive the years
i never got to live
but right now…
i’m still mourning
the kid i didn’t get to be

- maeve noire lyrics

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