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glamorous - mc crumbsnatcher lyrics

[chorus]
darling, i’m glamorous
in case you hadn’t heard
i’ve got jewels on my tool
and i sh-t out diamond t-rds
if you ever thought me cr-ss
oh, well, my dear
that’s just absurd
because darling, i’m glamorous
in case you hadn’t heard

[verse 1]
every time that i sit down and start to take a sh-t
it’s like heaven’s gates fly open
and the lord descends from it
and every little piece of corn
sparkles like a precious gem
i’ve got rose quartz on my hemorrhoids
that’s why you all love them
and on the other side of me
i sprinkle down a stream of gold
yes, that’s 14 carrots, darling
and it’s going down your throat
yes, my p-b-s are made of cashmere
and you know the rumor’s true
i’ve got gonorrhea emeralds
and they’re dripping down on you
you’re welcome

[verse 2]
i’m starting my own movement
and it’s coming from my bowels
it’s in all the fashion magazines
it’s really in right now
it’s a splash of red and sometimes green
but mostly, dear, it’s brown
it’s in all the hippest bathrooms
and the alleyways downtown
and i called my doctor on the phone
since fame can make one sick
and he asked me for a sample
i hung up and had a fit
if you think i’m cheap or nasty
then you clearly don’t know me
’cause i sh-t out ghirardelli
and i don’t do it for free!

[verse 3]
oh, did i forget my jewelry line?
oh, silly little me
i’m a master of pearl necklaces
look at your man and see
he’s been wearing one i made myself
and if you’ll trust my eye
it goes quite well with the gerbil fur
i pulled out my behind
and no matter what he says, my dear
you know i speak the truth
they aren’t herpes, love
they’re rubies
yes, and you’ll soon have them too
you’re welcome

- mc crumbsnatcher lyrics

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