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devonshire mushrooms - mike absalom lyrics

the first time i came up to london
i was hungry when i left the train
i entered a chrome cafeteria
i knew it was one of a chain
i asked for a fried egg sandwich
but the only thing they would allow
was a brace of fresh country eggs
garnished with devonshire mushrooms from slough

powdered eggs come in cellophane packets
but i must say i let out a moan
for me fresh country eggs, they looked up from a plate
where they seemed to be growing their own
so i asked for a rasher of bacon
but the only thing they would allow
was a portion of cottage cured gammon
garnished with devonshire mushrooms from slough

well they never have cured me of drinking
they never have cured me of sin
but i must say i have been much better cured
than that bacon ever had been
so i asked for a plain hamburger
but the only thing they would allow
was a viennese dairy fed steaklet
garnished with devonshire mushrooms from slough
after this, i was not feeling better
in fact, i was feeling much worse
so i got up to pay but alas, too late
i was violently sick in me burrs
well i wanted to leave without paying
but this they would not allow
so i left and i left them a tip
garnished with devonshire mushrooms from slough

- mike absalom lyrics

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