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i hate tour - mrs. magician lyrics

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on the way to el paso
i smoked my weight in cigarettes
and then we played at a sh-tty show
in front of no one
at the house of rock n roll

and then i sat in a parked car
for an hour while my friends sat in the bar
getting caught by state police
and i just laughed
as i ducked down in my seat

in an attempt to make me laugh
(??) tore all my cigarettes in half
so i sprayed him with febreeze
since he has asthma
since then he hasn’t f-cked with me

we finally made it to new york city
in my opinion the pizza still tastes sh-tty
and i don’t care for broadway shows
and all the kids who say
why don’t you just go back home

then i cried like a little girl
i p-ssed and moaned and called back home
and they said “son, sometimes life’s not fair
but if you stand up straight and brush your hair
quit all your sh-tty bands
and join the army
that’s when you’ll learn to be a man”

that’s when i ran
back to my friends who were in the van
and i begged just let me stay
i’ll stop complaining
and i’ll just shut up and play

so it always feel like home
you’ll wander through this life alone
and i learned to love the road
and if i hate it
n0body has to know

- mrs magician lyrics

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