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if only... - navy blue lyrics

[verse 1]
if only i could give more
if only i could mediate the discourse
i’ve been lonely ever since i was a little boy
it’s only so much i could do with this voice
this sh*t is peak i’ve seen an avalanche
hard to leave you as you are knowing that i’ll advance
having boundaries doesn’t mean that i ran
shedding tears don’t make me less of a man
pursue a life in your honor
you never were to blame we felt the reign in your karma
shields and armor your words still harm us
feels the harness, rеgardless it’s all love
when you playing your guitar whеn you stare blank
the repetition of your name, fear in my face
smoke cloudy up the room stay up real late
just want to know that you’re okay

[verse 2]
i’m sorry i ain’t call back
but sometimes i take a moment just to fall back
i take it all in
when you cried in front of me i saw a man
i know that parenting didn’t go as you planned
but we gon’ be okay as long as you around
seeing you smile means more to me now
i don’t remember you kissing my mother as a child
i’m just trying to make you proud
i chose you, when you made me
smoke fill the whole room, now that i can see
i love the whole you
i love the whole me
[chorus]
i love the whole you
i love the whole me
i wish that i could hold you
i know you lonely

[part 2]

[verse 3]
if only i could know the truth
if only i could be the perfect son to you
as i get older, get a little more sober
i hold sp*ce but i don’t seek closure
they say the beauty in the eye of the beholder
i grew up fast i wish my childhood was slower
was busy worrying about the reapers and the sowers
i felt the weakest as the weeper and the knower
i kept my secrets in the box, i couldn’t lock it
the place i buried it is where i had to blossom
all the places i’ve been, where i am is new
the voices fear the quietin’, leviathan en route
like horse hair on violins the violence pursues
preturbed, i knew the feelings way to well but couldn’t find the words
too busy digging for a purpose had to find me first
meet me where i stand
if only i can love you like you think i can
i had no love for me i found relief in open hands
if only you could hold a sp*ce for me to be
it’s only right for me to let my inner child dream
i remember when he almost lost me to the sea
you’ll never lose me i’m forever yours, honorably
forever yours

- navy blue lyrics

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