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cold evening - nicoomusic lyrics

[intro – nico]
you make me sick, like eatin’ paint chips as a kid
still, i crave the taste like what the f*ck is this?
i’m yellin’ at walls ’cause you ain’t text back
and my pride’s too loud to admit that fact
i cleaned my room just to mess it again
’cause that’s how my head feels when you get in
you’re perfume, gasoline, mixed with regret
you the dream that i hate but can’t forget

[chorus – nico]
don’t talk to me, but please don’t go
i hate that you don’t care, and i f*ckin’ know
you love me wrong, but it feels so right
like sleepin’ in h*ll with heaven’s light
you’rе in my blood, you’re under my skin
every d*mn word just cuts again
you ruin my pеace, and i still stare
you make me sick, but i still care

[verse 1 – nico]
you twist my tongue like a bad confession
i spit your name like a curse, obsession
told myself i’m done, then i see your post
now i’m drownin’ again, no life coat
you’re that sh*t storm i can’t outrun
thunder hits hard, but d*mn, it’s fun
i talk all tough, then i fold like clothes
i hate how your love just overdose
i been punchin’ air, talkin’ to ghosts
you rentin’ sp*ce in my head, no deposit, no host
i’m a fool with pride and a messed*up heart
still buildin’ shrines in the f*ckin’ dark
you smile, i lose, you cry, i lose
every option ends up in bruises
you’re chaos, art, disaster, glue
and even if i did, i start cryin’, and i still want you
[chorus – nico]
don’t talk to me, but please don’t go
i hate that i still care, and you f*ckin’ know
you love me wrong, but it feels so right
like sleepin’ in h*ll with heaven’s light
you’re in my blood, you’re under my skin
every f*ckin’ word just cuts again
you ruin my peace, and i still stare
you make me sick, but i still care

[bridge – nico]
yeah, i hate this. i hate myself
not like “hate hate,” but… the kind that hurts
and i’ll still follow you even word for word
i been chasin’ ghosts with a wallet full of f*ckin’ doubts
tryna buy peace, but it’s always sold out
you ever talk to god, get voicemail back?
heard my own voice, yeah, i hate that track

[verse 2 – nico]
she said i change moods like seasons flip
yeah, blame my brain, it don’t read the script
one day i’m soft, next day i’m raw
next day i’m numb, i feel it all
i’m that kid with the weird ideas
cryin’ in the mirror like, “yo, who is he?”
whole world clappin’, i still feel alone
’cause the crowd don’t help when you hate your tone
[verse 3 – nico (calm)]
then i breathe… and it don’t fix sh*t
still me, still pain, still every word
i tell myself chill, just ride the wave
but i built this storm, i can’t be saved

[verse 4 – nico (angry)]
you always talk ’bout change but never do sh*t
every year the same face, same excuse, same hurt
you post like you’re growing, but behind that screen?
you’re still that scared little kid, still chasin’ a dream

[verse 5 – nico (calm)]
i’m tryin’, man, you act like it’s easy to move
you scream at me daily like that’s how i’ll improve
i’m healing slow, yeah, i trip, i crawl
but i’m not that kid, i’ve learned from it all

[verse 6 – nico (angry)]
learned what? you just talk, talk, talk to sound deep
say “i’m different now,” then cry yourself to sleep
you wanna be tyler? you wanna be ye?
but you can’t face your f*ckin’ self today

[verse 7 – nico (calm)]
you think i don’t know that? you think i don’t bleed?
i write these lines ’cause it’s all that i need
i don’t want fame, i just want peace
but you keep draggin’ me back to the streets
[verse 8 – nico (angry)]
’cause peace is fake, pain’s what made us real
you’d be nothin’ without the way i feel

[verse 9 – nico (calm)]
maybe…
but without me, you’d burn alone

[outro – hiroshimal (alter ego / inner voice)]
oh, you’ll burn alone…
oh, you’ll burn a—
alone. alone. alone
alone

’cause i can’t help myself!
(ooh!)
i can’t help myself!
if you try to leave, i’ll throw you to the deepest pits of h*ll!

i f*ckin’ hate you!
i f*ckin’ hate you!
i f*ckin’ hate you!
(i f*ckin’ hate you!)

i’m such an animal!
i’m such an animal!
i’m such an animal!
i’m such a cannibal!

’cause i can’t help myself!
’cause i can’t help myself!
i can’t help myself!

- nicoomusic lyrics

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