lewis carroll - the mad gardener's song - nigel planer lyrics
he thought he saw an elephant
that practiced on a fife:
he looked again, and found it was
a letter from his wife
‘at length i realise,’ he said
the bitterness of life!’
he thought he saw a buffalo
upon the chimney*piece:
he looked again, and found it was
his sister’s husband’s niece
‘unless you leave this house,’ he said
“i’ll send for the police!’
he thought he saw a rattlesnake
that questionеd him in greek:
he looked again, and found it was
the middlе of next week
‘the one thing i regret,’ he said
‘is that it cannot speak!’
he thought he saw a banker’s clerk
descending from the bus:
he looked again, and found it was
a hippopotamus
‘if this should stay to dine,’ he said
‘there won’t be much for us!’
he thought he saw a kangaroo
that worked a coffee*mill:
he looked again, and found it was
a vegetable*pill
‘were i to swallow this,’ he said
‘i should be very ill!’
he thought he saw a coach*and*four
that stood beside his bed:
he looked again, and found it was
a bear without a head
‘poor thing,’ he said, ‘poor silly thing!
it’s waiting to be fed!’
he thought he saw an albatross
that fluttered round the lamp:
he looked again, and found it was
a penny*postage stamp
‘you’d best be getting home,’ he said:
‘the nights are very damp!’
he thought he saw a garden*door
that opened with a key:
he looked again, and found it was
a double rule of three:
‘and all its mystery,’ he said
‘is clear as day to me!’
he thought he saw a argument
that proved he was the pope:
he looked again, and found it was
a bar of mottled soap
‘a fact so dread,’ he faintly said
‘extinguishes all hope!’
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