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descent - nugatory hope lyrics

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i can’t take much more
with all to hide, i don this guise, and
smile and i mask it all
that smile hides a wretched man plotting self-demise

i scream at the sky as the floodgates burst
i went from ignored to the sc-m of the earth
my head is in another place
hoping for some lucky ace
to lift away the hurt
you f-cking hate me, don’t you? well
i hate me more, ‘cuz
when i fumble at each open door
a slew of trapdoors just conjure up, with the enticing lure of a
better life

god, and i keep f-cking falling for it!

snap me out of this!

i feel a paradigm shift
and the voices amplify
when the shift creates a quake
i used to -ssimilate and now i’m
ostracized and laughed at
i looked beyond this pit;
saw my ambition wither, die, and rot

i’m burning every bridge that i’ve ever built
with a blade in my fever dream fantasy, i give
i’m a cyst, and i’m only here just to prove my worth
even though i’m not worth a thing, i just want to feel

safe

am i losing my mind?
‘cuz every turn, there’s more
fuel for these thoughts
to fester and take on life

i can’t take this anymore!

why?!

- nugatory hope lyrics

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