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trust issues - polygonizeblue lyrics

[verse]
left the gunshot in the ceiling
dealt with the godd*mn feeling
not sure if all of this should end
cause i don’t wanna be like my past self
i ain’t my own godd*mn friend
don’t want new people to join and have problems, and just get distracted from my health
pushing the knife further into my chest
i’m not thinking all of this is blessed
why you care ’bout the person that made you mad?
people just assume i cry every time i get godd*mn sad
slicin’ out the blood from my wrist
puttin’ all the memories asidе, put them to mist
bein’ forgiveful whilе you homies act annoyed
said i was gon’ hop in the hate train
the void
feel like in the future, i would go insane
askin’ like, hows the weather down there
do actions like a dare
all of these actions i do now feel like excuses
feel like when i was protecting them, felt like words were misuses
you only say my name and ignore me afterwards
you didn’t use the right words
why you only care ’bout me if i make you sad a bunch of times
feel like my suicide is gonna make a lot of crimes
i don’t even trust myself anymore
leave to slice my throat open, bleed out on the carpet, and be sore
i feel like if i make you sad again, it’ll make a war
check myself out at the back alley of a drugstore
shot a bullet right into my head
it ain’t no more stories when i’m in bed
y’know apologies sometimes can’t fix everything
choke myself with multiple strings
can’t even count the times i made multiple godd*mn mistakes
these ain’t turnin’ into breaks
when i’m takin’ a break, just so you know i’m slicing my wrist
punch myself in the head with my own fist
imma probably die on the day of my surgery
cause i can’t even comprehend my misery
feel obligated to do multiple projects so you homies can be happy
miss my grand pappy
this is the worst year ever
cryin’ ’til my vision blurs

- polygonizeblue lyrics

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