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when i have kids - retz hbb lyrics

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(verse 1: retz)
when i have my kids will they ever know
about the sh*t i did and this life i chose
about the sins i commit and how i cope
at 15 i was tagging up
by 16 i was bagging up
then mark died i got scattered up
by 17 was in the chat of slum
used to watch my dad as he was smacking up
now i’m 18 and i’m tapped as f*ck
i sit in my room and i pray for help
but when help comes i don’t take it well
i got slit wrists i wanna take myself
got a mind of fray cause i was raised in h*ll
i can’t talk to people i just write about
like dear diary this what my life is about
as a young kid i seen f*ck sh*t
we talking drive*bys and them guts shiv
my best mate got taken by the state cause the place he lived it wasn’t safe
and he’s dead now cause he shot his veins
then mark k!lled himself and all i got to name a bag of pills and myself to blame
like dear diary have i had enough
i wanna go to sleep cause the damage done
as a young kid i was so alone no other kid could hope to know
my sad life in a broken home
i wanna k!ll myself or probably overdose
as i feel the rain on this lonely road
when i was 13 i used to cut myself
my girl would watch then cut as well
at 15 my mate hung himself so forget your pain and go f*ck yourself
people hate and they judge the world
but they wouldn’t last a day in my f*cked up world
people hate and they judge the world
but they wouldn’t last a day in my f*cked up world

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