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the culchie song - rory o'connor lyrics

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right, here goes. this is a song… that i wrote meself, it’s called the culchie song. it’s all about culchies. right

how ye getting on john? is your wife in the kitchen making scones? i love some with some jam, and a big aul lump of ham. tell her i’ll have b*ttered rich teas, not no f*cking jaffa cakes, no jammie dodgers or custard creams, but maybe some b*ttered bread? aye! for goodness sake!

i’m not a farmer but i think i am, i have the smell, the sandboots and the f*cked up hands. i say i got in an accident, but i’m f*cking lying’s what i really meant. i support sinn fein and watch rte, up the ra, f*ck the dup nruc!

i’m the greatest catholic alive! i don’t go to mass but i drink tonic wine. i hit my wife everyday, thats what she gets for calling me g*y! we have s*x most every night, i say shes good but shes really sh*te! i found a sheep thats much greater, she has a big m*ff so i’ll get the shaver. i’ll go down to the pub and tell all the boys that i got a nice wooly s*x toy

i’m not a farmer i’m a culchie! call me a townie and i’ll f*cking … knife ye! i eat beans right out of the can, i’m more disgusting than the taliban. i have a cousin her name is janet her *rs* is right out of this planet! aye she usually wears stung spitters. i gave her a wedgie right up the sh*tter

chorus, yeooo

i’m a culchie, i drive my finger up me hole. i’m a culchie, scum of the earth and collecting the dole. oh i’m a culchie, i’m only sick when i’ve got the cold. oh i’m a culchie, hanging around my neck there’s a chain, made of gold, because i’m a culchie, i’m a culchie, i’m a culchie oh i’m a culchie

yeooooooooooooo

- rory oconnor lyrics

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