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he'd rather be a girl - ruth wallis lyrics

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always thought when i got married
that my life would be a whirl
then, i discovered i’d married a boy
who would rather be a girl

i met him one night in miami
and i wed him one night in miami
his name was tommy, but he said, “call me tammy”
’twas then i knew he’d rather be a girl

oh, i recall when we tied the knot
he said, “i do,” but he didn’t say what
and i noticed he danced with the best man a lot
the best man’s name was pearl

oh, why did i wed a gay pretender
who doesn’t do what is on the grooves of gender?
how in the world can i surrender
to a boy who wears my négligée?

he cooks for me and he sews for me
he even mends my hose for me
but he never curls my toes for me
like a boy should do a girl

you should see the queer things that he does
now, he’s modeling my jewels and my furs
and our towels are all marked hers & hers
and i’m gettin’ real confused
he looks like a boy and he acts like a boy
he’s positive, but he’s stacked like a boy
but in the boudoir, he don’t attack like a boy
he’d rather do his hair

oh, it hurts me down deep inside
’cause i don’t really feel like i’m a bride
and the zipper on his pants is on the side
now, don’t that prove he’d rather be a girl?

oh, i have offered him my everything
my jewels and my furs and my diamond ring
i said, “do right by me, you can be a king”
but he’d rather be a queen

now, honestly, i’m very broad*minded
and i take my love where i can find it
but all he does is pantomime it
and this, i can’t enjoy

this is really a catastrophe
his capon’s no good for a chick like me
i guess that i just have to set him free
for what else can i do?

now, maybe folks cannot observe this
but a gal isn’t getting service
starts walking ’round mighty nervous
gotta get him out my life
i’ll find some place where i can send him
i’ll even go as far as to recommend him
he’ll make some boy a darn good wife
(spoken) he’ll make some boy

- ruth wallis lyrics

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