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son of doubt - salmist lyrics

i walk death row for selfish seeds sown
buried in the graves my memories own
growing from starched stone, vicious vine cripples bone after bone
a p-ssing look at this life leads me to believe, that a legacy of love lost is the one i leave
in late night hour, i grieve
in hateful cowardice, i conceive
in bellowing darkness, i’m suffocating

i am terrified
not of an unnoticed existence
but of existing unloved
and, i am terrified
not of unrequited affection
but of absent atonement

i’m reaching, from sinking solitude, i reach
lungs collapsing, mire confiscates all hope
i’m praying, to an unknown, i pray
a seeking savior, an inner dwelling wraith of war, a fearless father
come for me, find this lonely son, who gave his all to run
now scared and seething in scarce strength
to what end must he meet, for a home worth it’s keep?

what have you done to me?
a many year’s wall
built to keep those like you away
secure i was, alone
i needed not this constant, perpetual hosannah
this hope you so fondly embrace
(oh, harbinger of hallelujah.)
i enjoyed very much the consorting comfort of stone
the marble m-ssacre my heart had come to be
yet i prayed within wondrous halls and foyers of faith
for him, for you, and me
for the convulsions to cease and complete
i coughed up blood amongst all the words i’d never say to you
expecting your satisfaction
your praise
now, i found my loss
every dry vein that serves as bait
lost in repet-tive reclusion, i wait
for nothing
for no one
for anyone

for you
yahweh
for you

- salmist lyrics

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