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i have a girlfriend - scoochie boochie lyrics

verse 1:
i got a girlfriend
and there’s n0body better
with that smile and those eyes
i could stare into forever
plus her handshake firmer than a businessman
and her biceps toner than a printer man
met her at a ufc fight
she’s a knockout
love at first sight, won the fight by a knockout
and then she asked me out
swept me off my feet
now i’m head over heels and
those are figures of speech
but also literally
cause she’s bigger than me
she loves me like she does crunches: vigorously
she’s so fit you could play jenga on those abs
…and i have
and she could crush me but she doesn’t cuz she loves me
it’s lovely. wearing the pants is overrated homie trust me
she’s the breadwinner, and i love bread
when she brings home the bacon i make her breakfast in bed
yeah i’m emasculated but got no reason to hate it
it’s great i sit in the bas*m*nt play pc games and get wasted
meanwhile my masculine lady gets paid for kicking in faces
i’m waving to her at the weigh*in like my girlfriend’s amazing
verse 2:
and she takes me out to dinner makes me feel so special
nestled in her arms like a bird in a nest tho
heart in a choke hold hope she don’t let go
i don’t even really have to do much during s*x thooooo

verse 3:
they say that opposites attract
and i know that we are
i know my lady got my back
to help me open a jar
can’t believe she’s all mine
watch her run the 40 at the nfl combine

verse 4:
i’m her arm candy on the red carpet at the espys
which is super lucky given i’m not even s*xy
knew she was the one from the gun when she met me
walked across the room, picked me up, and bench pressed me

- scoochie boochie lyrics

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