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homecoming - shahn akhtar lyrics

[verse 1]
lost all my money and i lost control
lost all my friends and i lost my soul
it was october since i cried
i ain’t been sober since july
did my new girl fall in love
am i just a stepping stone?
feel like h-ll when i’m at home
feel this weight inside my bones
hol’ up, roll up, smoke up, i been falling ever closer
to the devil in my spirit, i can feel it, i can hear it
in the halls inside my home, in the dark when i’m alone
i ain’t picking up the phone i can’t lift a f-cking bone
i got trauma, i got demons, i been bleeding, i been fiending
tried to k!ll myself and failed, kinda p-ssed that i’m still breathin
i seen death and i seen pain, still remember all the screaming
seen a body on the street, i ain’t understand the meaning

[chorus]
i been waiting so long, (so long)
and i been feeling so gone, (so gone)
i been waiting so long, (so long)

[verse 2]
we pulled grandpa out the freezer, i remember that
i was making plans to see em when december p-ssed
i don’t hold onto a lot because it never last
i been fighting, i been dying to escape the past
shoulders aching from the casket that i carried off
ain’t been sleeping, i been running from the scary thoughts
i been drinking, i been shutting my emotions off
staying numb because i think i’m scared of going soft
i can’t feel a thing, i can’t feel a thing
duckin’ corners when i hear the sirens sing
oh lord, barely recognize my face
drag my knuckles through the walls and i’m begging to leave this place

[chorus]
i been waiting so long, (so long)
i been feeling so gone, (so gone)

- shahn akhtar lyrics

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