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wonder - sharon olds lyrics

when she calls to tell me my father is dying
today or tomorrow, i walk down the hall
and feel that my mouth has fallen open
and my eyes are staring. the planet of his head
swam above my crib, i did not understand it
his body came toward me in the lake over the agates
the hair of his chest lifting like root*hairs—
i saw it and i did not understand it
he lay behind beveled*glass doors, beside
the cut*crystal decanter, its future
shards in upright bound sheaves
he sat by his pool, not meeting our eyеs
his irises made of some boilеd*down, viscous
satiny matter, undiscovered
when he sickened, he began to turn to us
when he sank down, he shined. i lowered my
mouth to the glistening tureen of his face
and he titled himself toward me, a dazzling
meteor dropping down into the crib
and now he is going to die. i walk down the
hall, face to face with it
as if it were a great heat
i feel like one of the shepherd children
when the star came down onto the roof
but i am used to it, i stand in familiar
astonishment. if i had dared to imagine
trading, i might have wished to trade
places with anyone raised on love
but how would anyone raised on love
bear this death?

- sharon olds lyrics

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