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10.23.23 (a letter to the woman who broke my heart) - shmandarin lyrics

october 23rd, 2023 * a letter to the woman who broke my heart
that day started out like any other
i woke up to a “good morning” snapchat of your beautiful face

it’s been about a year of off and on talking
something i always wished would evolve into more, a real relationship
you and i, 29, seemed like we understood each other

whenever i heard from you, my face would light up and i’d smile so much
i don’t have the most attractive smile
but, when you’re the culprit, my insecurities fade away

i accеpt that you’re a single mother
working three diffеrent jobs to support you and your son
i respect you so much for it

you told me i was different from all the other guys
that i make you smile, that i’m so sweet
that i gave you endless b*tterflies

so fast forward to the day you invited me over to be with you while you recovered from getting your wisdom t**th pulled
i expected nothing and i wanted nothing but to be with you
so when i got more than what i bargained for, i took it as us making love

as each day passed by afterward
things were still the same but i felt unstoppable
then came the weekend we picked to go out on a date
then i heard silence
there was no good morning, no text, no snap
and i couldn’t understand what was going on
with each passing day afterward
my insecurities started to reappear and i kept blaming myself
there were days i couldn’t fight back the tears
times i had to hide at work so no one could see me cry
and days i didn’t want to get out of my bed

i felt so weak, so crushed, so (f*cking) empty
but, i can’t and will never be mad at you for it
part of me wishes you’ll reappear and give me closure
but, i still wish you the very best
so thank you for letting me be a part of your life
although it was very brief

- shmandarin lyrics

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