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the toaster - source guy lyrics

[verse 1]
yo, i woke up in a bathrobe, half*stoned
heard a voice whisperin’ static through my iphone:
“it’s the toaster, bro, watch him close, he knows ya,”
now i’m duckin’ down low with a loaded mimosa

burnt bagel, black smoke, that’s the sign!
i swear the toaster winked at me at 9:09
i ain’t paranoid, i’m just super*aware
of appliances conspiring with my tupperware

[chorus]
they said i’m crazy, but maybe i’m woke
microwaves laughin’ while i’m havin’ a stroke
tv said “hi” in a british accent
now i’m beefin’ with a keurig in my bas*m*nt, yeah

[verse 2]
i hacked into my own dreams, rerouted the plot
just to cancel my ex like a netflix flop
i sent a cease and desist to my own reflection
for smirkin’ at me during self*inspection

i’m half g*nius, half glitch, with a caffeine twitch
type poems to the void like a poetic snitch
they said “grow up, source,” i said “nah, i’m timeless,”
now i’m spittin’ in tongues with a mind that’s mindless
[interlude: source guy & therapist]
uh, source guy? yeah, this is dr. feldman. i’m… i’m gonna go ahead and cancel all future appointments
it’s not you it’s me…
actually, it’s definitely you
i watched the footage of you threatening your blender with nunchucks
also, please stop mailing me pop*tarts with your lyrics on them
good luck… and, uh… don’t eat the crayons again

yo, doc!
first of all
those weren’t nunchucks, they were chopsticks!
and second, that blender started it, bro
he made eye contact…
…n0body disrespects source guy at breakfast…

[chorus]
they said i’m crazy, but maybe i’m woke
microwaves laughin’ while i’m havin’ a stroke
tv said “hi” in a british accent
now i’m beefin’ with a keurig in my bas*m*nt, yeah

- source guy lyrics

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