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bowling song - stephen lynch lyrics

you watch me on your tv.
say that my job is easy.
say i am not athletic.
you think my sport’s pathetic.

but you can’t judge me ’till you walked a mile in my bowling shoes.

so i don’t get all the ladies.
and my clothes are from the 80’s
i am known throughout the valleys.
as the prophet of alleys.

and as i roll the ball i cry, “let me bowl or let me die!”
i am mighty malakai, the bowling god.
the smell of rising gets my high.
kiss those f—in’ pins goodbye!
i am mighty malakai, the bowling… the bowling… god.

got a ball that’s smooth and all black.
i keep it in my lucky ball-sac.
i get a feeling in my soul.
as i finger every hole.

not a single men will try, to beat almighty malakai.
all that challenge me are slain.
come on, f—ers pick a lane.
marshall home and gary d-ckens, get in line for your -ss kickins’.
john patracky and norton duke, your so lame it makes me puke.
oh i’m on the pro-bowl sector.
there’s to don his wrist protector.
not that p-ssy nelson burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin’.
hey mark walfey, earl the pearl, are ya’ scared to give the ball a hurl?
how bout’ nickey webber and his son pete? i’ll turn the motha f-ckas to cream of wheat!

- stephen lynch lyrics

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