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lion - stephen lynch lyrics

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[narration]
“howdy, folks. this next song is a story of a gal who just
couldn’t choose between to fellers. one was about the nicest
guy you ever met, and the other one, well, he’s kind of a
d-ck. let’s listen in as these boys settle it the only way
they know how; through singing. and a 1, and a 2… ”

make a choice – will it be
a guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
or a guy like me?

i would comfort you when you’re sad
well, i would just leave you crying
i would protect you if a lion attacked you
not trying to f-ck with no lion

i would fight a man for your honor
i don’t know no kung fu
i’d carry you across a muddy field
b-tch, these jordans are new

make a choice – will it be
a guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
or a guy like me?

i would read you romantic poetry
i’ll leave that sh-t on the shelf
my love making would be sweet and tender
this thing ain’t sucking itself, no

i would take you to the finest restaurants
here’s an old baby ruth
i would tell you how pretty you look tonight
and i would tell you the truth

make a choice – will it be
a guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
or a guy like me?

but ba-by, baby
the choice is up to you
so pick me quickly
’cause i’ve got sh-t to do
it’s true dear, i do dear
i want you to be mine
but let’s be clear here
i’m still not fighting no lion…

[narration]:
“let’s see what happens next…

every day i’d say how much i love you
… i would not
i’d surprise you with gifts and flowers
i’d spend your money on pot, yeah

we would stay up all night just talking
i’d fall asleep when i came
i’d spell your name out with a thousand rose petals
i don’t remember your name!

make a choice – will it be
a guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
or a guy like me?

make a choice – will it be
a guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
or a guy like me?

[narration]:
“see? i told you he was kind of a d-ck.”

- stephen lynch lyrics

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