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i never harmed an onion (so why should they make me cry?) - steve allen lyrics

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[verse 1]
i’ll admit, i split bananas
take easter eggs and made them dye
but i never harmed an onion
so why should they make me cry?

[verse 2]
i turnip my nose at turnips
don’t carrot all for carrot pie
but i never harmed an onion
so why should they make me cry?

[pre*chorus]
potatoes i’ve mashed, and berries i’ve crushed
i’ve made an arti*choke, and that’s not all
i’ve also whipped cream, and beaten an egg
yes, i’ve even made a melon bawl

[chorus]
of all the things above i’m guilty
if punished, i would know just why
but i never harmed an onion
so why should they make me cry?

[verse 3]
now i’ve cut off a head of cabbage, yes i have
and squeezed watercress until it’s dry
but i never harmed an onion
so why should they make me cry?
[verse 4]
once i saw a salad dressing
my face got radish, my oh my
but i never harmed an onion
so why should they make me cry?

[pre*chorus]
potatoes i’ve mashed, and berries i’ve crushed
i’ve made an arti*choke, and that’s not all
i’ve also whipped cream, and beaten an egg
yes, i’ve even made a melon bawl

[chorus]
of all the things above i’m guilty
if punished, i would know just why
but i’ve never harmed an onion
so why should they make me cry?
oh, why should they make me cry?

- steve allen lyrics

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