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desperate - suburban legends lyrics

what the h-ll is wrong with me?
i’m in a band, ladies can’t you see
please don’t judge me by the car that i drive
or the fact that i haven’t had a date since ’95

come on, don’t go away
don’t listen to your friends when they that i am gay
i try so hard but i just can’t get no play
don’t have any stds
come on, i’m begging on my knees
come on get close just ignore the fleas

we will take anything that walks . . .
because we’re desperate

i know i’m not a handsome man
’cause i look like an ogre with a farmer’s tan
and every time the ladies see me and i’m walking their way
they say, “brian smells, everybody stay away”

oh ladies, can’t you see
i can’t help it because i’m ugly
but i’m in a band, don’t that count for something
come on now, don’t delay
’cause if you don’t call then i’ll probably rent-a-date
and my tab keeps rising, ’cause i do it every day
oh ladies, can’t you see
i’m in a band, why aren’t you attracted to me?
i don’t care if you’re underage
just as long as you’ll be seen with me in a public place
what’s it gonna take? (what’s it gonna take?)
for you help me bake cookies?
doo-wah-doo
’cause i need to know
i’m all hot and ready
and i got to go . . .
because we’re desperate

why oh why must i have this rash
no girls talk to me they just step back
should i lift weights? would that make me more s-xual?
maybe wear gl-sses would that make me intellectual?
come on lets do it fast
’cause i’m all hot and ready and it just wont last
and i got 20 dollars what can i get for that?

- suburban legends lyrics

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