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self/less - sxmrxxt lyrics

[intro]
i stopped choosing me
the second you smiled
told myself shrinking
was a worthy style

[verse 1]
i made room where i had none
let your shadow replace my sun
i dimmed my wants to match your calm
swallowed storms and served you psalms
laughed at jokes i didn’t get
drew boundaries i’d soon forget
changed my pace to fit your clock
unlocked doors you left on lock
i skipped meals so you could vent
k!lled my pride just to prevent
another silence, stiff with shame
another night you’d leave me nameless
i lost my mirror to your gaze
spoke in ways to earn your praise
called this “love,” but now i see
it was erasure
wearing empathy

[chorus]
self/less; not selfless
just a version i left breathless
i gave ’til i blurred
and you took it
like i preferred
[verse 2]
i said “yes” with shaking t**th
buried “no” in songs beneath
you wrote rules with shifting lines
and i bent truths to make them mine
i dressed in moods you liked to see
left my essence silently
you never asked i just complied
cut my wings
to match your stride
it wasn’t love. it was disguise
a daily death
i rationalized
you never said “change.” but i just knew
to be enough
meant less of who
i whispered louder than you screamed
tried to fit into your dreams
but dreams aren’t made for both to stay
one becomes the ghost
the other prays

[chorus]
self/less; that’s where i drowned
in trying to keep your silence sound
you said i was safe, but never saw
that i carved myself
to keep you raw
[bridge]
she didn’t close the door
she just walked far enough
that …
it never needed locking

[final chorus]
self/less; not growth, just loss
a mirror traded
for your gloss
i used to be whole
but you preferred
something i couldn’t hold

[outro]
so, if you find me
quiet and small
know i once screamed
just to feel
at all

- sxmrxxt lyrics

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