sombering my last chapter - tears seven times lyrics
no!
so sang the lachrymal morning to its gray companion
“forever you will lie in wait” and kissed the horizon
i watched them dance, six alike since that night
left envious by the turning of the world itself…
she lays somewhere that the sun can’t even reach
scorned, un*rotting and laughing*like, a refrain i come to believe:
she made me worthless to myself
i made me worthless to myself
i made me worthless
my satin lover loves alone, made happy as i leer to myself
sure as the sky runs out of light
i loved her
now i love her memory
you let me go too soon
tears can’t begin to prepare myself
for what i had done to your heart
and there is so much to fear in the afterlife
in how little say we have in it at all
“at all” is the penance i pay
for keeping the world from you
knowing that it would break your heart (would only break your heart)
can i stay and live this lie?
just to stay true to you
i took your life into my hands and stole you from death
so cast the stones
from angel throes
i’ll reap exactly as i sow
if somber’d is my heart
all i want is what’s coming to me
what’s coming…
my final chapter awaits…
i let go of it all and watched as the nothing changes
within my grasp, the relief i sought
rumored and faithless
my stake in this: to make peace with myself
with every step toward my destiny
i am determined to stand up and face my life
as one would rise and face the mirror
it’s hard to even look
knowing i deserve so much better than this
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