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thanks for giving me salmonella - the autistikids lyrics

[verse 1: lil autistikid]
i put my turkey in the oven and it came out burnt
shove the stuffing up its ass, that sh*t must’ve hurt
made the turkey bite the curb, it be tasting dirt
oh sh*t, we k!lled the turkey, now we got thanksgiving curse
i couldn’t buy another one, cuz they all sold out
i said f*ck it and decided to serve sauerkraut
but then at that last second all the turkeys had restocked
put on my air jordans and started sprinting up to the block
saw a woman at the store, it grew big (my c*ck)
i then said f*ck that b*tch because she rеally likes k*pop
i got my thanksgiving turkey and sprinted right back homе
looked in the garden and saw a motherf*cking garden gnome
i cooked my thanksgiving turkey perfect in the oven
i got all my spices and gave my turkey a good rubbing
serve the turkey at the table, get down and i’m lovin’ it
all this thanksgiving food make me wanna go and take a sh*t
i sat on the toilet, that food was h*lla good
after about 20 minutes, i was done and i busted
i looked back inside the toilet and saw bl**dy diarrhea
godd*mn i think thanksgiving turkey just gave me salmonella

[chorus: lil autistikid & lil dicey]
thanks for giving me salmonella, b*tch (ayo, lil dicey on the beat)
thanks for giving me salmonella, b*tch
[verse 2: lil dicey]
went to the doctor after my p*n*s got warts
the weirdass doctor grabbed my thigh and then took off my shorts
told me i got an std from a turkey or a dog
i said nah these warts are a sign, i am a warthog
it would make sense if i got that std from a turkey
when my family wasn’t lookin’, i inserted my jerky
after i busted a nut, my homie caught me, screamed “brodie!”
gosh darn, failed nnn, now i got herpes type b
“at least big d*ck randy’s gone” is what i would’ve said
if he didn’t break into my house and pin me on the bed
then i screamed at him when he grabbed my legs and he spread
whipped out my strap and went (bah, bah) with that lead
big d*ck randy, unfortunately, wasn’t even phased
in fact all the bullets i blasted just grazed
big d*ck randy just smiled as i ran out my window
man, this thanksgiving will just be me and my pillow

[bridge: lil dicey]
bro i thought randy was limited to halloween
i really hope this christmas that he will not be seen
but i can’t guarantee, and he’s very scary
but for now, let’s focus, be thankful this week

[chorus: lil autistikid]
thanks for giving me salmonella, b*tch
thanks for giving me salmonella*

- the autistikids lyrics

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