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thick as my balls - the balls project lyrics

[verse 1]
really don’t mind if you sit this one out
…i may make you feel but i can’t make you sh*t
your love’s in the gutter, your sperm’s in the sink

[refrain]
so you ride yourselves over the b*lls
and you make all your animal deals
and your wise men don’t know how it feels
to be thick as my b*lls

[verse 2 / (“drive my car” verse 1 & chorus)]
and the sh*t*castle virtues are all swept away
(asked a girl what she wanted to be
she said, “baby, can’t you see?)
in the tidal p*ss, the moral melee
(i wanna be famous, a star of the screen
but you can do something in between”)
the elastic retreat rings the close of b*lls
(“baby, you can drive my car
yes, i’m gonna be a star)
as the last wave uncovers the final b*lls
(baby, you can drive my car
and maybe i’ll love you”)

[refrain / (“drive my car” chorus)]
but your new shoes are worn at the head over heels
ah, don’t take my b*lls
don’t break my b*lls
don’t, don’t, don’t throw it away
and your b*lls does rapidly peel
and your wise men don’t know how it feels
(“baby, you can drive my car
yes, i’m gonna be a star)
to be thick as cum
(baby, you can drive my car
and maybe i’ll love*”)
[verse 3]
and the cum that i feel is so far away
i’m a bad dream that i just had yesterday
and you shake your head and said “who the f*ck are you?”

[verse 4 / (“pinball wizard” verses 1 & 2)]
(ever since i was a young boy, i’ve played the silver ball)
spin me back down the years and the days of my youth
(from soho down to brighton, i must’ve played ’em all
but i ain’t seen nothing like him in any amus*m*nt hall
that deaf, dumb, and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball)
draw the lace and black curtains and shut out the cold s*x and booze
spin me down the long ages, let them join together with the band
(he stands like a statue, becomes part of the machine
feeling all the bumpers, always playing clean
plays by intuition, the*)

[verse 5]
see there! my b*lls is born
and we pr*nounce him fit to f*ck
there are black*heads on his b*lls
and he pees cumself in the night
we’ll make a kid who had a big hallucination of him, put him to a cum trade
teach him to play “time” and how to sing in the rain

[instrumental break]
aaaaahh! aaaaahh!
amogus
[?]
b*lls
p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss (etc.)
bread

(crazy frog sounds)
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
i’m p*ssing and sh*tting all over this copy of amlor (1987)
voulez*vous
[?]
kodachrome
time
(screaming)

my b*lls
p*ss*p*ss*p*ss*p*ss
my b*lls
p*ss
p*ss*p*ss*sh*t*cum

bread
bread bread
bread bread

[spoken interlude]
rise and shine, mister freeman. rise and shine.
not that i… wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job.
no one is more deserving of a rest, and all the effort in the world would have gone to waste (cum!) until… well, let’s just say your hour has come again.
the right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.
so, wake up, mister freeman.
wake up and smell the ashes.
[verse 6]
the poet and the painter casting shadows on the watah
as the sun plays on the infantry returning from the stone
the do*er and the thinker, no allowance for the other
as the failing light shatters the mercenary’s creed
the b*lls burning, the bread almost cold
but the master of the house is far away
the horses stamping, their warm breath clouding
in the sharp and frosty morning of the day

[refrain]
and the poet lifts his son while the soldier sheaths his sword
and the youngest of the family is p*ssing with authority
building p*ss castles by the p*ss sea
he dares the tardy p*ss tide to wash them all aside

(p*ss)
(piissss)
(piiissssss)
oh
*ide, oh

[instrumental break]
run to the bedroom, in the suitcase on the left
you’ll find my favourite my b*lls, b*lls, my b*lls
don’t look so frightened, this is just a passing phase
one of my bad days

my b*lls
my b*lls
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
my b*lls (p*ss)
b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls

my b*lls (etc.)

b*lls (shut up) p*ss
b*lls (shut up) p*ss
b*lls (shut up) p*ss
b*lls (shut up) p*ss
shut up

p*ss

[verse 7]
the cattle quietly p*ssing at the p*ssy down by the my b*lls
where the swelling mountain p*ss water moves onward to the sea
the builder of my b*lls renews the age*old purpose
and contemplates the aaaaaahh whose offer is his need
the young men of the household have all gone in my b*lls
and are not to be expected for a year
the b*lls moving ever faster
has formed the b*lls to change the man he seems

[refrain]
and the poet sheaths his b*lls while the soldier lifts his sword
and the oldest of the family is p*ssing with authority
coming from ap*ss the sea, he challenges the sus
who puts him to the run

[instrumental break]
[?]
deez nuts!

some of us p*ss on my b*lls…

[“take a p*ss”]
[verse 8]
just take a p*ss and cast it to the sea
then watch the ripples never come back
gone to the other side
p*ss away, away
my p*ss spills so gently into your b*lls
disturbing the waters of the endless river

[verse 9]
shreds of our b*lls are lying on your ass
wounded words of p*ss are graveyards of the p*ss
b*lls are grey and torn, scattered in strawberry fields
b*lls of your b*lls are not real

[instrumental break]
what the fu*

[verse 10]
wear sadness on your b*lls like a worn*out overcoat
in pockets creased and tattered hang the rags of your b*lls
the daybreak is your p*ssnight, the b*lls have all broken
disturbing the p*ss waters of our b*lls
of our b*lls
b*lls
b*lls
of our b*lls

we return you now to your regularly scheduled program

[verse 11]
what do you do when daddy dies
do you want to be him?
(my b*lls, b*lls, my b*lls, my b*lls)
and your real self sings “my b*lls”
(my my my my my ball ball ball ball ball my ball my ball etc.)
do you want to free him?
no one to help you p*ss up steam
and the p*ss turns you ‘way off*beam

[instrumental break]
ooh, ahh

[“make me p*ss” verse 1]
children play in the park, they don’t know
i’m alone in the dark, even though
time and time again i see my b*lls smiling inside

[“make me p*ss” chorus 1]
i’m so aaaaahh! (uh huh)
that you love me (oh yeah)
life is sh*t (oh)
when you’re near me
tell me, you will stay?
make me p*ss

[“make me p*ss” verse 2]
my b*lls is just a game, so they say

[verse 12]
i’ve come down from the upper class to break your rotten b*lls
my father was a stupid motherf*cker whom everyone obeyed

[verse 13]
so come on all you stupid motherf*ckers! i’ve got to put you straight
just like i did with my old man twenty*five or six to four years too late

[flute solo]
yar har, fiddle dee dee
being a pirate is alright to be
do what you want ’cause a pirate is free
you are a pirate!
yar har, fiddle dee dee
being a pirate is alright to be
do what you want ’cause a pirate is free
you are a pirate!

b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)

b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
b*lls, b*lls, b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (aaaaahh!)
stop!
i wanna go p*ss

[verse 14]
your bread and water’s going cold, your sh*t is short and neat
i’ll judge your b*lls and make d*mn sure that no*one judges my b*lls

[“make me p*ss” verse 2 continued]
all the sh*t we used to play
fade away, ooh
we may now enjoy the sh*ts we shared so long ago

[“make me p*ss” chorus 2]
oh, my darling (oh, oh)
got to have you (yeah, yeah)
feel my b*lls (whoa)
when i hold my b*lls
cry sweet tears of joy
touch the sky
(i was in the seamus kitchen
that’s the outside, was dog)

[instrumental break]

this is a demo
joey foreskin

[verse 15]
you curl your b*lls in fun as you sh*t at everyone
you meet the stares, you’re unaware that your enod t’nera sgniod
and you laugh most ruthlessly (*laughter*) as you tell us what not to bee!
but how are we supposed to see where we should p*ss?

[spoken interlude]
[?] some bollards? and today we’d like to talk to you about what makes a bollard a premium bollard. so first i’d like to talk to you about our my b*lls

[verse 16]
i see you sh*t in the courtroom
with your fingers upon my d*ck and b*lls
and your downy litle sidies and your p*ss*buckle shoes among us
playing at the hard*case, you follow the example
of the comic*paper idol who lets you bend the d*ck

[instrumental break]
break my b*lls, b*lls
break my b*lls, b*lls
break my b*lls, b*lls
break my b*lls, b*lls

[verse 17]
so! come*mong us childhood heroes!
won’t you rise up from the p*ss pages
of your comic*b*lls? your super*b*lls
and show us all the way? (“do you know the way?”)
well! make your p*ss and sh*t*ment (p*ss)
won’t you? trust your local government
we’ll have joe manchin for president, let doug walker save the day

[verse 18]
you put your bread on number one and it comes up every time
the other kids have all backed down and they put you first in line (sh*t)
and so you finally ask yourself just how big my b*lls are
and you take your place in a wiser world of bigger motor b*lls
and you wonder who to call on

[instrumental break]
p*ss
p*ss
p*ss
p*ss p*ss
p*ss
p*ss
p*ss p*ss
p*ss p*ss p*ss
p*ss p*ss
p*ss
p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss
p*ss

[verse 19]
so! where the h*ll was maggie
when you needed her last sat*rday?
and where are all the madmen
who always pulled you through?
they’re all resting down in brazil, writing up their memoirs
for a paper*back edition of the b*lls scout manual

[instrumental break]
p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss (etc.)
break my b*lls (etc.)
break my b*lls, b*lls (etc.)
b*lls b*lls b*lls b*lls (etc.)

[interlude]
my b*lls
my b*lls
my b*lls
my*my*my b*lls
my b*lls
my b*lls
my b*lls
my b*lls
my*my*my b*lls
my b*lls
my

break my b*lls
break my b*lls
break my b*lls
break my b*lls
break my b*lls
break my b*lls
bread
bread bread bread bread
bread bread

[verse 20]
see there! my b*lls is born
and we pr*nounce him thick as a brick
there’s a load lifted from his b*lls
with the discovery of his disease
we’ll take the child from him, put it to the test
teach it to break b*lls and how to fool the hill
(oh
’round and ’round and ’round and ’round)

[instrumental break]
p*ss

[drum solos]

[verse 21: spoken / (“her majesty” verse)]
(her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say
her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she changes from day to day
i wanna tell her that i love her a lot, but i gotta get a belly full of wine)
we will be geared to the average, rather than the exceptional
(her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, someday, i’m gonna make her mine, oh, yeah)
god is an overwhelming responsibility
(someday, i’m gonna make her mine)

p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss
p**p! p**p! p**p!
“i’m going to go listen to nostalgia critic’s the wall for comfort.”
we walked through the maternity ward
(stop!)
and saw 218 babies wearing nylons
“goodbye, prog boys! my b*lls!”

it says here that cats are on the upgrade
upgrade? hip* hipgrave
[?] are red, so that can’t help

[verse 22 / (“west virginia b*lls” chorus / spoken: u.s. senator joe manchin)]
really don’t mind if you sit this one out
(country b*lls, take me home)
in the clear white cums of morning wonder
(to the place i belong)
i take my b*lls with the fool on the hill
(west virginia b*lls)
and the blue*balled soldiers stand slightly discoloured
(west virginia b*lls
my b*lls in west virginia)
(in neat little rows) sporting canvas frills
(“…part of any state, in any part of any role. part of america. which is southern*west virginia. and now all of a sudden, they get left behind, we can’t let that happen. so*”)

[verse 23]
with their b*lls pinching, they slouch to attention
while queueing for salty chocolate b*lls at the office canteen
saying “go f*ck yourself”
coughed up a p*n*s on a premium bond win
(shut up)

p*ss p*ss
p*ss p*ss
p*ss p*ss
p*ss p*ss

[(“west virginia b*lls” spoken: u.s. senator joe manchin)]
(“…we’ve gotta do some way to diversify. so i’m looking at now natural gases come on strong, and you look at p*ss sh*t and cum, which are the building blocks for manufacturing. we have a tremendous chemical valley, as you know the p*ss valley up the… my b*lls… we can invigorate my b*lls tremendously with manufacturing coming back, and we can be the backup*”)

[interlude]
uh*oh, uh*oh
uh*oh, uh*oh (aaaaahh!)
uh*oh, uh*oh
uh*oh, uh*oh

you are so yummy yummy yummy yummy fat fat fat
so yummy yummy yummy yummy fat fat fat
*laughter* get moley on your phone!

give me open b*lls and a big ol’ knife
to get some bear, deer, even aaaaahh!
i light me a fire, do the shake and bake
i say, “yo, yo” i’m a cowboy now
(it’s the freak phone, and here’s the party freak:
freddie freaker, dancing new sensation
grabbing the nation, doing the freak
call now!)
(screaming)
the sun is hot and dry, gonna f*ck a cow
i say, “yo, yo” i’m loose and free
whoa there nelly, you’re the horse for my b*lls!

[verse 24 / (“west virginia b*lls” spoken: u.s. senator joe manchin)]
(“…b*lls in the united states of america. right now, all of our energy is cl*stered down around louisiana and texas, in the southwest… b*lls”)
(west virginia)
the legends (b*lls the ancient tribal aaaaaahh)
lie cradled in the seagull’s cum
and all the promises they made
are ground beneath the s*d*st’s b*lls

[verse 25]
the poet and the wise man stand*
(do all your p*ssing at walmart!)
behind the g…
and signal for the crack of b*lls
light the sus, light the sus

[refrain / (“colour my b*lls” verse)]
do you believe in my b*lls?
(as time goes on, i realize)
do you? believe in my b*lls!
(just what you mean to my b*lls
and now, now that you’re near
promise my b*lls)

[instrumental break]

[verse 26 / (“colour my b*lls” verse)]
(that i’ve waited to share
and dreams of our moments together)
the dawn creation of the b*lls has begun, has begun
(colour my b*lls with hope of loving my b*lls)
soft venus (lonely maiden) brings the ageless one, the ageless one
my*

[?]
“we’re gonna give you the graty for my nuts. white nuts…”
number nine, number nine, number nine, (b*lls) number nine
“…yellow nuts. put them in the container, comes with my nuts.”
you’re so yummy and so sweet
simply alright and proper
i like your fat way ’cause i like them double whoppers
i often hear people on street laughing about you
but were you all skin and bones i couldn’t cuddle up on you

you are so yummy yummy yummy yummy fat fat fat (screaming)
so yummy yummy yummy yummy fat fat fat
*laughter* get moley on your phone!
all you have to do is send mad to 755*55
or visit jamster.com

[verse 27]
the p*n*s (ooh) has returned
to my b*lls, to my b*lls
and fully…with the day…?????

[refrain]
do you feel like we do?
do you feel like we do?
oh, that’s true

[instrumental break]
(yoko ono vocalizations, crazy frog sounds)

wha*wha*what’s going on*on?
ding ding
this is the crazy frog!

1*877*kars*4*kids
k*a*r*s, kars 4 kids
1*877*kars*4*kids
donate your car today!
[?]

c*ck and ball torture. from wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, at en.wikipedia.org. c*ck and ball torture (cbt) is a s*xual activity involving torture of the male genitals. this may involve directly painful activities such as wax play, [?], squeezing, ball busting, [?], tickle torture, [?], physical pleasure, [?]

ever since arby’s partnered with [?], all our food keeps blowing up!

it’s time for big big chungus, big chungus, big chungus

(f*ck you!)

[verse 28]
let me tell you the tales of my b*lls
of your love and the final cut
the tireless oppression, the sh*t instilled
the desire to p*ss or be p*ssed

[verse 29]
well, let me sing of the losers who cum
in the street as the last b*lls goes by
where the streets have no name: the*
while the fool toasts his b*lls in the sky

[“now more than my b*lls” verse]
now i need my b*lls (oh yeah)
more than ever (oh yeah)
no more p*ssin’ (oh oh)
we’re together
tell me, you will sh*t?
make me p*ss

[instrumental break]
among us

(i will feed off the evergreen l*ster of your heart
all because we all live in the valley of the walls
when they*) shut up!

[refrain]
so come all ye young men who are p*ssing and sh*tting all over these castles!
kindly state the time of the year
and join your voices in a h*llish chorus
mark the precise nature of your b*lls

[instrumental break]
(you could’ve listened to the radio. you could’ve spun some vinyl.)
(i don’t care. shut up. play the record…)

[verse 30]
let me help you to pick up your bread
as the sins of the antisemites are fed
with the blood of my nuts and the thoughts of my nuts
and from the pan under my nuts

[verse 31]
well, let me make you a present of cum
as the wise man breaks wind and is gone
while the fool on the hill
sees the sun going down
and the eyes in his head
see the world spinning b*lls

[spoken]
almonds, walnuts. kids can do it. kids love my nuts.
“and i’m cool cat, and i love all nuts.”
y’know, not only nuts, what about fruit?
put in my nuts. look at that. isn’t that beautiful on my nuts?
reason you’re gonna slap my nuts is ’cause it’s so easy to clean. one, two, and… pops my nuts.

a*a*a*a*a
my b*lls
b*lls
a*a*a*a*a
my b*lls
a*a*a*a*a
a*a*a*a*a

[refrain / (“now more than my b*lls” outro)]
so! come*mong us all ye young men who are building walls!
kindly state the time of the season
and join your p*ss in a h*llish chorus
mark the precise nature of my b*lls
see! the summer lightning cast its p*ss upon you
and the hour of b*lls draweth near
would you be the fool stood in his suit of armour
(i have always been here)
or the wiser man who is p*ssing and sh*tting all over this copy of amlor (1987)?

[interlude]
if you go f*ck voulez*vous
f*ck!
f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!
p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss
(screaming)
i have always been here

was it aah or was it aah?
or was it aah or aah?
was it aah or was it aah?
or was it aah or aah?

bud light f*cks real p*ss b*lls (real p*ss b*lls)
today we f*ck you, mr. really bad sh*t f*cker (mr. really bad sh*t f*cker)
more than any neon sh*t or exploding cum ever could
your chrome dome sh*t says, “hey guys, f*ck me” (what could you be f*ckin’?)
you think it looks natural, but it couldn’t look phonier if it had a sh*t strap ([?])
made of sp*ce age sh*t, it can f*ck anything: rain, wind, snow, and especially p*ss (*think so)
so f*ck a nice cold sh*t, mr. sh*t in my b*lls (aah*)
then f*ck another for that sh*t on your b*lls (i don’t think it’s on straight)
bud light beer, [?] missouri

help!

let’s all get up and sh*t to a song
that was a hit before your mother was born
though she was born a long, long time ago

your mother should know (aaaaahh!)
your mother should know (know)

i’d love to stereotomy you on

(screaming)
shut up
oh!

her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say
her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she changes from day to day
i wanna tell her that i love her a lot, but i gotta get a belly full of p*ss
her majesty’s a pretty nice girl, someday, i’m gonna make her mine, oh, yeah
someday, i’m gonna make her mine

p*ss, p*ss, pi*pi*pi*p*ss
p*ss, p*ss, pi*pi*pi*p*ss (aaaaahh!)
p*ss, (aah!) p*ss, (aah!) pi*pi*pi*p*ss (aah!)
p*ss, p*ss, pi*pi*pi*p*ss

[verse 32]
so! come on ye deez nuts!
won’t you rise up from the b*lls
of your b*lls*books? your super*b*lls
and show us all the way
well! make your p*ss and sh*t
won’t… you? trust your local government
we’ll have joe manchin for president, you f*cked*up old hag
ha*ha! my b*lls

[spoken interlude]
among us happy meal, and there’s a my b*lls inside? but supposedly, when you get this happy meal, you guys, something scary and weird happens. [?]*

[morse code message @ 21khz]
ididnotknowwhattoputhere

[verse 33]
so! where the h*ll was my b*lls
when you needed cum last sat*rday?
and where are all the sportsmen who always pulled you b*lls?
they’re all resting down in brazil, writing up their memoirs
for a paperback writer of the bibble manual

“it says “the bibble”.”
“you question the words of the mighty jimmy?!”
“no, i wouldn’t…”
“you better kneel down, and pray to jimmy with me, right frickin’ now!”

[“the great gig in the sky” non*lyrical vocals]

broken b*lls

p*ss p*ss
p*ss p*ss

“raymond, where’s the f*ckin’ p*ss, man?”
“it’s right here, frank. you want me to pour it?”
“no, i want you to f*ck it! sh*t, yes. pour the f*ckin’ p*ss!
that p*ss’s gonna get warm. one thing i can’t f*ckin’ stand is warm p*ss, it makes me f*ckin’ puke!”

(uptown girl
she’s been living in her uptown world)

p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss p*ss sh*t
p*ss
sh*t
cum!

[refrain]
so you ride yourselves over the b*lls
and you make all your animal deals
and your wise men don’t know how it feels
to do all your shopping at walmart!

(well, don’t start changing f*ckin’ reels in the middle of a*)

and your wise men don’t know how it feels
to be thick as my b*lls

yeah

- the balls project lyrics

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