the functional song - the big function lyrics
my d*ck ain’t big but i always leave her soaking
with a ginger mormon boy and boy do i wanna choke him
his three inch pincher, she gives him some red head
i might not rock her sh*t but sometimes they let me rock the bed
at least i get my own planet cause i
planted those seeds
instead of planting my seed
but on my plantain she feeds
f*cked a nun in missionary
f*cked a b*tch in doggy
f*cked a cowgirl in * well actually she f*cked me, i got pegged
gave some w d
to a 40 year old virgin
but she was way too tight
i pried her open like a surgeon
she calls me heath ledger
cause i broke her back on the mountain
she also calls me bill cosby
i’m not sure why
i spend so much at mcdonalds
the employees wanna f*ck me
lemme see your shamrock shake
like the american economy
they call me big mac
i use a condiment cause i ain’t dirty
enough jizz flyin’ around
to make an oreo mcflurry
nutella was a girl named ella
then she met me
took a trip to virginia
and now they call it ia!
my parents told me study hard
i didn’t put up a fight
now i rep calculus with the left
and pop v**gr* with my right
putting my pudding in her puh with my ding
a*ling i think i’m gonna give her a ring
oh no this ain’t just a fling
she’s doin tricks on my thing
and all while wearing a g*string
f*cked a clown
had her squirting from her flower
she was honking my name
for like 3 hours
yeah she slipped on my banana peel
i pied her in the face
we f*cked in her clown car
and went back to her place
she referred me to her home girl
who was silent the whole time
was she a himalayan monk?
no, she was a mime!
now this mime was a freak
i only paid for one meal
she acted stuck in a box
but i did it for real
the horse’s name was friday
they call me that too!
‘cept a horse has got 10 inches
and i’ve got a respectable two
they say friday comes too late
well, i certainly don’t
just cracked 10 seconds
call me usain bolt
but i’m always cracking 10s
that ain’t a new occurrence
just doin’ her a favor
some service to her cervix
now i’m always breaking hymens but i’m never getting high, man
still, i’m high*quality when you use a hyphen
i got rhymes and dna both with incredible timing
the way i break her nether region
you can call me diamond
pickaxe, but you’ll never see me pick ass
cause i’m a tits man br**sts always kick ass
my d*ck goes straight to her brain, call me synapse
she’s addicted to my diction and i think i’ll let her relapse
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