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horror asparagus stories - the driving stupid lyrics

my father was a big ol’ toad
(toad! toad! big ol’ toad!)
he lived in a hole in the middle of the road
(hole! road! middle thereof!)
my mother was a little wren
(wren! wren! a little wren!)
she lived at home in a little wren pen
(pen! pen! little wren pen!)

my brother was a slimy frog
(frog! frog! slimy frog!)
he lived in a swamp, in a rotten log
(log! log! rotten log!)
my sister was a crummy witch
(witch! witch! crummy witch!)
she lived in the woods in a dirty ditch
(ditch! ditch! dirty ditch!)

my grandma was a wriggly snake
(snake! snake! wriggly snake!)
she lived on a hill, in a stagnant lake
(lake! lake! stagnant lake!)
my grandpa was the color green
(green! green! the color green!)
he lived in a wart on an elephant’s spleen
(spleen! spleen! elephant’s spleen!)
my aunt, she was a cardiac vein
(vein! vein! cardiac vein!)
she lived in the heart of a whooping crane
(crane! crane! whooping crane!)
my uncle was a strange disease
(disease! disease! strange disease!)
he lived on the wind, on a forgotten breeze
(breeze! breeze! forgotten breeze!)

toad! wren! frog! witch!
(road! pen! log! ditch!)
snake! green! vein! disease!
(lake! spleen! crane! breeze!)
my cousin was a kangaroo
and i, my friends, am the square root of two

- the driving stupid lyrics

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