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heavy metal robot - the firm (comedy) lyrics

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[?] i’m cybernetic
i always get athletic
when my sensors get to set to “funky beat”
but i’m uncoordinated
’cause my program’s [?] outdated
and i cannot time the movement of my feet

my left goes right, my right goes left
my body turns around
my arms rotate, my legs gyrate
i end up falling down

i’m a heavy metal robot
i want a funny haircut
i want to play the guitar
i want to be a rock star
if you want street cred
you’ve got to learn to bang your head
and be a heavy metal robot

all me mates are on a diet
and i think i’d like to try it
but they take the metal mickey out of me
i tried to lose weight from me hips
by cutting down on silicon chips
and just the one expansion module in me tea
in my headband and my tight blue jeans
i really look the part
computer*aided rock ‘n’ roll
it’s great, but is it art?

i’m a heavy metal robot
i want a funny haircut
i want to play the guitar
i want to be a rock star
if you want street cred
you’ve got to learn to bang your head
and be a heavy metal robot

an agent from a traveling interplanetary show said
“why don’t you form a rock band of your own?”
but r2*d2 said “no way!”
robocop said “nah!”
i tried to reach e.t., but he’s always on the phone
so i got shoved with the firm
and when it was my turn
they put me mixed with 20ft high green monster
the kids averse to static
i defaulted to automatic
i played like eddie van halen… only faster!

now i’m a heavy metal robot
i got a funny haircut
now i can play the guitar
now i’m a rock star
i’ve got street cred
’cause i can bang me head
’cause i’m a a heavy metal robot
three, four!

- the firm comedy lyrics

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