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shaving cream (live 2025) - the odd ditties lyrics

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[intro]
okay, sing along if you know this

i’m gonna start over, that was bad

[verse 1]
i have a sad story to tell you
it may hurt your feelings a bit
last night when i went in my bathroom
i stepped in a big pile of

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 2]
i think i’ll break off with my girlfriend
her antics are queer, i’ll admit
each time i say “darling, i love you,”
she tells me that i’m full of

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
[verse 3]
our baby fell out of the window
you’d think that her head would be split
but good luck was with her that morning
she fell in a big pile of

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 4]
an old lady died in her bathtub
she died of a terrible fit
in order to fulfill her wishes
she was buried in 6 feet of

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 5]
when i was in france with the army
one day i looked into my kit
i thought i would find mе a sandwich
but the darn thing was loaded with
[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 6]
you can simulate thе sound of farting
if you put your hand in your armpit
but your lizard brain might get confused
and let loose a torrent of

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 7]
a man was climbing a mountain
when suddenly he lost his grip
as he found himself in freefall
his final words were simply

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
[verse 8]
here’s an etymological lesson
for the word which means excrement
from germanic skit, to sh*ten
to what we refer to as

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 9]
ha ha, we’re singing a swear word
instead of subverting it
like the original song does
now isn’t that funny as

[chorus]
sh*t?
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 10]
i’ve played this verse over and over
but let’s just get it over with
let’s just skip right to the chorus

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 11]
how long will this song go on for?
why were these new verses writ?
well me and some gin did a collab
now you get to deal with this

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 12]
isn’t this idea below you?
yes, maybe but i’m desperate
i must resort to this drivel
so my show is not short as

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 13]
i typed the word sh*t into rhyme zone
to write this but had to omit
flit, grit, knit, slit, mitt, and crossfit
so if you think it’s long now, then tough

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 14]
i’ve heard of beating a dead horse
but god d*mn this is ridiculous
if we beat the horse any more, folks
it’ll just be a puddle of

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 15]
my face has been growing quite hairy
it could use a trim, it would seem
i bought a razor to cut it
but i need to get me some

[chorus]
shaving cream
shaving cream
shaving cream, shaving cream, shaving cream

[verse 16]
p*ss f*ck c*nt c*cksucker assh0l*
tw*t motherf*cker and tit
bullocks b*tch clis* cl*sterf*ck ian
d*mn it and f*ggot and

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 17]
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t, everybody!

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

[verse 18]
and now, folks, my story has ended
i think it is time i should quit
if any of you feel offended
shut the f*ck up and eat

[chorus]
sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t* one more time, everybody
20% louder than you would be otherwise

sh*t
sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t
sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t

thank you, i’m the odd ditties

- the odd ditties lyrics

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