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wake up - the odd ditties lyrics

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time to wake up
the rooster roar
the tortured scorching sky
the rude shampoo and sun
collude to shove
pollutants into eyes

the soggy cap′n crunch
the groggy coffee grind
the ennui rut
the kiss goodbye

time to wake up
look behind
the starting line in view
when nothing wasn’t new
everything there is remains

the days array and
wait to be accrued
all of it left to do
soon what we construe as you
will make its clueless debut

awaken with sleep snot in your eye
with an unsightly film of phlegm
that breached the t**th and climbed
with little rem
but not the mike stipe kind
with a hairstyle that might
make a mad scientist sigh
mr. tambourine man, sing for me
mr. sandman, bring me a dream
mr. ambien man, do your thing
(ooh, yeah)

my room is full of stuff
the flaming racecar bed
the blanket grandma made
the stain the spaghetti left
the top bunk i fell off
the comic books i bought
the burnt cd with unlawfully gotten songs
poster of the rock
box of lego blocks
broken ring i broke mom thought was lost

time to wake up

the tongueless floss
the sock that lost a twin
the pillow dribbles spit
the emaciated toothpaste
the hairbrush itself could use some groomin′
the sobbing faucet sniffs
the klepto couch is getting rich
the talkative toilet lid
awaken with sleep snot in your eye
with an unsightly film of phlegm
that breached the t**th and climbed
with little rem
but not the mike stipe kind
with a hairstyle that might
make a mad scientist sigh

mr. tambourine man, sing for me
mr. sandman, bring me a dream
mr. ambien man, do your thing

wakey, wakey, come and make me
naked, shaky, pate is achy
rise and shine, hive mind o’ mine
i think you’ll find the weather′s fine
well, not if you like being dry
but don′t you hide, stride out in pride
no time like the present, right?
even if your life’s in strife
dog died? despise your wife?
in spite of jive, ride with the tide

oh, i′m sure when that alarm went off
you hit the snooze so hard
it shattered like a missile target
scared to blare, lest it be impaired again
you don the hated garment
microwave an egg and scarf it
ladies, germs, gents and larva
demos of the ad department
it’s morning zoo with you know who
and ooh*wee*ooh, here′s breaking news
it’s mayhem in the am
oh, this traffic is a circus
if you′re going off to work
it’s a nightmare on i*90
i’d keep some wine beside me
with how little i′d be driving
to all the coffee zombies
slogging down the foggy road
or to those of you at home
loading up a cup o′ joe

try to take it smooth and slow
as you grow from utero
the chickens roost, the cows come home
the creatures reap what we have sewn
a bird in hand is two in bush
if you k!ll them with one stone
the stroke of midnight was the time
the 25 of that july
in 92, the falling sioux
the icu was sterilized

the only roof i occupied
while never having gone inside
mom had hardly learned to drive
before i glided through her thighs
grandma cried, “he’s gone awry”
but it was just the labor slime
who knew it was true, if you do what the youth
has been groomed not to do too much, you will go blind

i′m a decade older now than mom was
when they shouted “it’s alive”
the idea of being tied
to a whiny child, i confide
is quite a mighty fright

you′d be high, if you described
my life as the desirable, admirable type
i guess i’m slightly bright, but why
would i inspire a thriving mind?

i barely stand myself upright
i can′t be liable for a life
i won’t be ripe in ten years time
christ, beside the ten behind

it would be a lie, if i were to imply i’m qualified
to be the guy a pair of eyes
tiny, spying, open wide
should *n*lyze or scrutinize
or frighteningly idolize
to pry advice to utilize
to strive to go by my design
to inquire how and why
for some reply that satisfies
my pizza slice′s grease is wiped
on jammies with an open fly

whoa, okay, i′m sorry, folks
to go expose these broken bones
but don’t be mopey, mouth a*foaming
hoping by the radio
this croaking host forgoes his crowing
growing stony, you′re approaching
loathing for this blowhard blowing
and so monotonely droning
on and on and on he’s going
i′d be so pleased, if he’d only stop
so let not it be intoned
this host postponed the show he′s hosting
there won’t be no more withholding
swear it on my very soul
because here are the closures, folks
we owe to slowly lowering snow

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