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the flexible bullet - the tommy lasorda experience lyrics

the actual center of the world is bayside, queens
you will never find more fun anywhere
on a sat*rday night
beer fueled fights in front of the 7*11
never elevate past fists
because everyone’s too drunk

it’s hard to walk in bayside
and not find a party
i drove down bell boulevard once
completely trashed
really weaving
and all people did was laugh

i think there were cops laughing too

if there is a gift that the irish
have given to the world
it is bayside

the flexible bullet

i don’t take illegal drugs
primarily because i don’t have any
if i did have some, i would take them
because as the great sage and eminent junkie once opined
in a world clearly going to h*ll
what’s so low about getting a little high?
later on we were fishing at the seaport
kenny w*ngler caught a bunch of weird turtle mermaid hybrids
a bunch of guys were going over to paris
to dance and pick up girls
i was a little disappointed
because i wanted to go to paris but i don’t dance well
and i don’t know how to pick up girls
it only happens by accident

i woke up and it was all true

- the tommy lasorda experience lyrics

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