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golf - tim hawkins lyrics

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[verse 1]
well, they say is you live all work and no play
then your life can become such a mess
so, my baby said, “baby, you should try golfing
that’ll help you deal with your stress.”
so, i bought me some irons, a putter, and a driver
and some golf shoes made by dr. scholls
a new bag and sunglasses
took a few short game classes
and made my way to the first hole

[chorus]
well, my swing is all wrong
my golf b*lls are gone
and i drove the cart into a tree
and the country club banned me
a woodchuck attacked me
it’s official: golf ain’t for me

[verse 2]
i hit a bunch in the woods and even more in the water
and i pegged a guy mowing his yard
i couldn’t get out of the sand traps
got lost in the tall grass
so, just put me down for a par
[chorus]
well, my swing is all wrong
my golf b*lls are gone
and i blew out my hip and both knees
and when i passed out from a heat stroke
it made me spill my diet coke
it’s official: golf ain’t for me

[bridge]
first hole, i got a twenty
second hole, another twenty
then, i continued to fail
the last hole, i got an eagle right in the temple
spent the next three weeks in jail

[chorus]
well, my swing is all wrong
my golf b*lls are gone
and every follow through, i’m yelling, “fore!”
and my voice went ho*rs*
so i left that course
and i ain’t playing golf anymore
i threw my clubs in the moat
and i bought a bass boat
and i ain’t playing golf anymore
no, i ain’t playing golf anymore

- tim hawkins lyrics

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